The few days, or couple of weeks that I wanted to sell the house, several things went wrong. The kitchen sink broke, the master bathroom sprung a leak, the sheet-rock in the garage started falling off, the fridge started to have problems, the kids got sick, and so on. Troy told me it was because I wanted to sell the house and it wasn't supposed to happen. One night, about a week ago, I had a chat with Heavenly Father. I explained the reasons I wanted to sell, the logic, the fears, the necessity. I explained that I was tired of Troy's rigorous schedule and scared it was just going to get worse and that I would be left to take care of a yard and house by myself because he never had time to do anything. I was slipping into a deep slump, maybe even starting depression. I was exhausted of arguing with Troy about the sale of the house. I was stressed out thinking how we were going to move into some thing smaller and try to do without. I was tired of trying to balance and figure out where the money was going. I was just a mess. Plain and simple, a mess.
By the end of my prayer, a very quiet and insistent voice told me to trust Troy. What!?? I have been the one to make most of the decisions. I have always been the planner and organizer...the OCD one! Now I have to surrender and trust someone else to make these decisions?? Preposterous! However, once I decided to let it go, trust Troy and respect his wishes, things started to work out. My slump started to become happiness, my kitchen sink ended up being a loose pipe, the toilet leak just needs a new ring and some stabilizers. The kids were happier, and the very next day, we had two offers on our car! The car we had been trying to sell for months. It sold literally over night! Things started to fall into place and everything has worked out since. I am excited to stay here. I am thrilled that I am not taking my kids away from their home. I am excited the way things are falling together. I am happy. I am okay with trusting Troy. He is, after all, a very wise man. And, I love him for who he is. He doesn't have to change. He is perfect for me.
We may not be able to stay here forever...in fact I am pretty sure we will not be able to. But for now, I will enjoy this place of comfort, love and rest. I will accept that I was wrong. I will take the help of our Heavenly Father. I will get my house all fixed up, enjoy it for now, and then we can sell it when the time is right. As far as work goes, I still have no leads on a job. Tory is working this summer for his brother. I had an offer to work at a camp, but Troy and I don't think it is right for now. We will continue to budget and save and live within our means. We still have our pick-up truck to sell, but other than that, we have unloaded a lot. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am grateful for the moments that humble us the most so we can recognize the blessings we do have.
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3 comments:
Oh, I miss you, Jandy. You are so incredible and I'm so glad that you are my friend. I'm glad that you are feeling the peace that you were seeking. Isn't it wonderful what the Lord can do? :) I know what you mean about trusting your husband . . . :) I came to the conclusion a couple of years ago -- after STRESSING out about something or other -- that taking care of our family financially is HIS JOB. And the Lord's. SO I let it go. I let go of the stress. I let go of really even talking with him about it too much -- because it's none of my business. He'd have to figure it out and I had enough on my plate. --- And you know, life has been all the sweeter ever since. I think husbands, plus the Lord, do a pretty darn good job figuring out how to provide for their families. :)
Good luck with everything. I know that Heavenly Father loves you, Jandy.
Reading this just gave me the chills. The Lord is there for you and your family. He is going to help you provide for your family, He will not leave you stranded. Trust in Him.
Best of Luck with everything!
Thanks for sharing! That is a neat experience!
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