grover family retreat 2011

Every year the Grovers get together and take a mini vacation to a cabin. We chat, eat, snowmachine, eat, eat, and play games. This year Troy and I were put in charge. It is coming up quickly and I need to post the assignments for food and lodging. So, here are the assignments:

Thursday we check in after 4. Everyone is responsible for their own meals that night.

Friday:

Breakfast: Jandy and Troy (french toast, sausage, bacon)

Lunch: Peggy and Richard (soups and pizza?)

Dinner: Dani and Todd (street tacos?)

Saturday: Happy Birthday Peggy!

Breakfast: Heidi and Kaden (?)

Lunch: Kayla and Adam (french dip?)

Dinner: Hawaiian haystacks

Jandy: gravy, chicken, rice and birthday cake

Kla: cheese, almonds, Chinese noodles

Danielle: celery, green pepper, coconut, pineapple

Heidi: green onions, marchinio cherries, tomatoes, olives

Richard and Kaden: Ice cream for cake

Sunday check out is at 11, everyone is responsible for own breakfasts. We are responsible for washing the towels and putting a set or two of sheets in the wash. I know this is odd because we have a cleaning deposit, but if everyone takes care of their family, it will go smoothly!

There will be approx. 13 adults an 7 children. Please plan your meals accordingly. Room assignments are as follows:

Richard and Peggy: Master bedroom and bath (Yes, I gave up my king for you)

Adam and Kayla: Downstairs bedroom with 2 queens and bunks.

Danivan and Toddly: Downstairs bedroom with 2 queens and bunks.

Jandy and Troy: Upstairs 2 queens

Heidi: Upstairs with 1 queen

Kaden: Downstairs with 1 queen

The cabin does not provide toiletries (bar soap, shampoo,conditioner), please bring your own.

The cabin does have dish washing detergent, linens, towels, laundry soap, dishes, pots and pans, and the basic necessities. Please throw in a couple of rolls of TP just in case we run out. Also, please bring a roll of paper towels and a couple of garbage sacks.

We are looking forward to this trip! I will be emailing each of you a rental agreement for the stay. Everyone is responsible for printing and signing this agreement. Please look over things carefully and bring them with you. Troy and I have to make sure everyone is aware of the rules. If you have any questions, let us know! Yea for the cabin trip!!! Troy is bringing up some board games...please bring some favorites! The cabin does not have the pool table or air hockey, but there is a hot tub and a television. We should have plenty of things to do!!!!

Stake conference

This morning we attended stake conference. We live across the street from the stake center, so I was able to see that at 8:30 this morning the parking lot was FULL. We hurried to get ready, the boys stayed at Grover's last night so it was just Troy and I, and we rushed over. We were able to get a seat on the last row of the overflow. We were blessed today to have the temple President and Matron, a member of the stake primary presidency, our stake president, a member of the 70 and Jeffery R. Holland speak to us. Everyone gave a wonderful talk and we were left with an Apostolic blessing. He spoke of the old testament where James and John went to the temple to figure some things out and saw the lame man sitting on the stairs asking for handouts. James and John blessed this man and he was able to walk. He told that the Pharasies did not want to believe what had happened and they were upset that these miracles did not cease after they crucified Jesus Christ. They could not deny the miracle. It happened. He then talked about how scholars have tried for 180 yrs to destroy the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. They have all failed. Why have they failed? because it is true. You cannot deny it. You can choose to practice or not to practice, to believe or not to believe, but it does not change the fact that it is TRUE. I loved that. It was such a wonderful talk. He talked about missionary work and he challenged the youth to stay with the church for the next 10 years and diligently study the scriptures and they would not fall away. He called this their Tithe. Give it ten years and they would be so involved that they will not fall away. He blessed the men in our stake that they would honor their priesthood. he blessed the women that they would stay strong. he blessed our youth and the children that they grow up strong. He blessed that we would read and study the scriptures. He blessed the sick and afflicted. He did a wonderful presentation and I loved every minute of it. They all did a great job. I was happy that Troy went, but I missed my boys. I wanted Daeson to hear a man of God speak to us. I wanted him to feel the Spirit that was present. I am not sure Tev would have lasted, but I now that Daeson is such a spiritual child that he would probably never forget the talks.

I am grateful to belong to this wonderful church. I know that sometimes we take offense or we offend others, but it is not the people of the church that are true...it is the gospel that will not change. I firmly believe that we have this amazing gospel on this earth and we have the full authority of the Priesthood. I know that Joseph Smith would not have died in vain. I know that those serving missions, callings, and those whom preside over this church would not give up their lives to do so if this were not a true church. The only true church on the earth today. I am lucky to be able to take part in such a wonderful gospel. I am grateful troy was able to attend conference with me. It was so nice to have him there.

Sick

So Saturday night we took a break from all the painting and remodeling and decided to go to dinner with Jaimen and Kara. We had a sitter go to their house because ours was such a HUGE mess. Well, there was a visitor that night who was sick. Yup, a little friend came over and played with Tevan...she was sick! Well, needless to say that Monday Tevan started to feel yucky and that night he threw up and threw up and threw up. Poor kid! The funny part was that he came down to find Troy and I. We were downstairs watching The Office and Community on Hulu. After expressing that he was sick, he threw up on me. Then I started to throw up. So Troy was trying to help both of us...one garbage can, two puke-ees. After bathing and getting Tev back to bed, I laid by him all night. It was so fun laying with him, my fat belly, and my cramping legs on a twin sized bed. He threw up a good six times. He did really good,only once throwing up all over the bed. After bathing him and getting him in the third pair of jammies for the night, he went to sleep again. Tuesday he felt better but I kept him home from all activities. His eyes were bruised from the pressure of throwing up and he looked sickly. Wednesday he started to feel better and act himself again.

Thursday Troy picked Daeson up from school and he started crying and telling Troy he had a bad ear ache. So, we gave him some eardrops from a previous infection and hoped for the best. He really didn't feel good and anyone could tell. I finally called to get a perescription and we got him settled. He was accidentally given too much medicine and I was freaking out. I was told to watch him and to make sure he was peeing okay. He did really good for a bit. I finally finished quilting a quilt I started years ago (Susie Q, it will be on it's way shortly!) and I checked on the boys. He had thrown up all over his bed and himself. I was grateful that he didn't get on the new carpet:). We bathed him and got him laying back down on the heating pad. He slept pretty good last night and I was pleased that for the first time in a week he slept past six a.m. He went to school today and I asked his teacher to keep him in. We will probably end up taking out his adnoids and tonsils the first week of April (Spring break). That way he will be healed up for school the next week and it will be done before the baby comes. I will set up an apt on Monday. He is terrified, but I know he will do great. He will breathe, sleep and feel better. He has been so stuffy since August and he does no sleep at all. He tells me "It is not my fault I can't sleep, Mom. I just can't sleep very good." So...something has to give! We will find out what the verdict will be.

On the way home from school today he apologized for keeping me up all night. He is such a sweet boy! I told him that I was just glad that I felt good enough to take care of him. Troy was out with his friends until late and I was grateful I could hold it together while cleaning up the yucky stuff. I am grateful that both of my boys are feeling better. I am glad that, other than surgeries and colds, my boys are relatively healthy. They are sweet and loving and for the most part...perfect ;0. Troy has been feeling a lot better, too. His back is doing a bit better only giving him pain on his big delivery days. He is going back to school for his master's degree in Networking Securities or something like that. He has a very large brain and he is very, very smart. I know he will do well and I know he can pull it off. We are putting the computer store on hold for the time being. It was getting to be a bit too much. I was going crazy with his schedule and he was getting a bit worn out. He is a hard worker, but even Superman has to take a break! I am thankful for my family and friends. I am grateful for the support I get on a regular basis. I am one lucky girl...even through all the sickness and drama! I love this little family of mine!!!

Loving it

Well, minus a couple of doors and a few feet of trim, we are finished. It is so wonderful! I absolutely love the way things turned out. Troy's cousin is going to help me make a frame for the picture that I want to hang, and we do have some touch ups, but it is livable. It looks so much bigger and it is lovely. The other night Troy's bro and Adam stopped by to take a peek...we borrowed Ryan for a couple/three hours and picked his brain with out wiring problem. If you turned on one light, the other wouldn't work. Now, after much trial and error, all the switches work. come to find out, the way they were wired was a huge fire hazard. I am glad that is fixed! Today my goal is to do laundry and to vacuum all the yucky dust from downstairs. It is a real mess down there, but with a little elbow grease and some time, it will be gleaming just like upstairs. The kids love having the house put back together and we can walk around without stumbling around! I really enjoy getting up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom without hitting my toe on boxes and totes of items. It is wonderful. We are ready for visitors, just please remove your shoes upon entering! :) Troy even asked the Qwest guy the other day to remove his shoes! If planning a visit, please keep in mind that we have trim left to be put up and a couple of items that need to be redecorated with. But come on over and visit for a moment!

She moves

Last night Troy was able to (with a bit of prodding from me) feel the baby move. She gave him some great little kicks and I was so excited. I feel her a tiny bit once in a while, but she is still small and very padded right now. I think Troy is getting more and more excited. I hung some girl clothes in the closet tonight and showed him. He just replied, "I don't know about all this girl business". I know secretly he is very thrilled and just won't admit it!

Finished...almost

I love that word ALMOST. it is a very positive word meaning "I can see a very close light at the end of the tunnel and I am so excited!" It is 10 pm on Sunday night. Troy just finished the wood flooring and I just finished putting the finishing touches on the paint. It looks pretty good if you ask me. I am very excited for the carpet tomorrow. Troy's cousin and my friend, Holly, is coming over to help me clean everything and move it back where it should be. We still have trim to buy and paint, but we ran out of time. This will have to wait about a week until I can get things settled a bit. However, we do have some trim that will go in. It will look marvelous and I cannot wait. We did it. We made the deadline no one thought we could make! I love it when things wrap up and finish out. So, tomorrow I will have a semi-cleaned up and dust free home. YEAH for deadlines! I do want to tell Troy thank you so much for letting me go crazy with this project. It was HUGE and we did it with very little help...just the two of us bickering and fighting...but we made it through! Thanks to everyone else who helped, too. We really appreciate it! Oh, and I better put a note in here that the kids have been so great through all of this! They try to keep things clean and they have been great little helpers. They both even earned a bit of money for helping. They have been very low maintenance only complaining when they were hungry or tired! I love these little boys!

Dust and more dust

I expected a remodel to be dusty. I expected everything to be slightly out of sorts. I expected that it would cost more than what we had planned for. I expected bumps in the road. So, having said that I am ready for this to be over. We had a very nice Lance Ricks sheetrock for us. He did a great job. Someone told us the going rate was $90.00 a sheet...we hung nine sheets...and he only charged us 250 for the whole dang thing (plus supplies). I was very impressed with how quickly he accommodated our needs. We actually had a couple of sheetrockers fall through and not work out and were given his name. He did a wonderful job and I can start painting the living room tomorrow. I put one coat of paint in the baby's room today and worked on the trim. I have everything painted that we have purchase. Unfortunately we have several more feet of trim to purchase and paint. However, the carpet should be in Monday and I will be ready for it. I have a very optimistic feeling about this. Where there is a will, there is a way. (Pound Puppies).

It was not so long ago that I could not will myself off the couch and I am thinking in some respects Troy wishes it was still so. As soon as I was well, we started the remodel. I feel an urgency to get things done. I just want to be back to normal and enjoy the next couple months. I feel much better and I can do so much more than what was possible just a month ago.

This baby is doing great. I neglected to give an ultra sound detail. We all went to the appointment. We were very excited and anxious to find out what the baby's sex would be. Daeson is going to be an amazing big brother as he has wanted a girl the entire time. Tevan will have a very hard time adjusting. If I even look at another baby or child smaller than him, he does everything to get my attention. Troy. What to say about Troy? I think he is excited. I think he thinks I am going to go overboard and spend everything we have! But I think the thing he fears most is that he will turn into a big softy! I think he is going to fall in love with this baby girl as soon as he sees her and it will be the end! As for me, I knew it was going to be a girl about a month ago. I had a strong feeling that she would be a gift for me. This is our last baby due to many aspects and I am grateful Heavenly Father sent me a little girl. At first I was terrified to have a daughter...but I am so grateful now. She will be a joy in our lives. The ultrasounds we got turned out wonderful. The silhouette is absolutely perfect. She has her hand near her face...as if she were posing. She was shy at first, but then she was so fun to watch. Tevan desperately wanted her to talk to him, but then I told him she couldn't talk. This made him very discouraged. All in all, we are very excited for this new addition.

So tomorrow morning I will get up, put on my paint overalls and paint. I have walls to wash, priming to do, painting to do and I hope, Troy will put the trim up. After all of that is dry, Troy has the wood floor to install and then the carpet. After carpet comes, we have crown molding to paint and attach to the ceiling. Then I get to fill holes and touch up. Then we will be ready to clean and move furniture in. I am not sure how they get everything on Home Makeover done so quickly, just a semi-large remodel takes a lot of time and prep. I guess they have 100's of people working on their stuff and we have only a couple. So for now, I am going to turn in. I just got back from my Grandparent's 56th Wedding Anniversary party. We went to dinner then visited for a moment. The roads were slicker than snot, but I made it in double the time it normally takes. The kids fell asleep and I should be sleeping too.

My nerves are shot and my patience are thin. I am getting worn out and I am getting tired of comments made about me pushing things. I like deadlines. Things get done with deadlines and I can see an end with deadlines. Yes, I stress out with deadlines. but only until things are done. Then it is fine. I have learned one thing: if Troy and I were ever to build, we would not stay married! We are so different and I don't think our marriage is strong enough to handle and entire house!!! We are barely puling through this mess! We are pulling through though. Tomorrow is another day. I can and will make it through. Thank Heavens for lights at the end of the tunnels!

Think PINK!

Yup, things are going to be a bit different now...it's a GIRL! The due date is still June 14 but the ultrasound due date is June 19, Tevan's birthday. I am going to do everything in my power to have it June 14. Troy is not sure what he thinks, Daeson is excited and wants to name her Jezabel, and Tevan was mad that she couldn't talk to him while having the ultrasound. Then I told him it was a girl and he said, Ahhhh!

So, I am trying to come up with names that we like. Our boy name is up for grabs. It was Asher Troy. By chance she comes out a boy, I will still name it that.

I lost my tooth!

Daeson was certain he was going to lose a tooth! He wiggled and wiggled his lose one and out it came with out effort on January 3, 2011. He ran upstairs and said, "Mom, I just wiggled and wiggled my lose tooth and it just like came out!" He was so proud of this. We put it in a zippie and he awaited the Tooth Fairy's arrival. She came. She left him a bunch of change in his zippie and boy was he excited! One down...lots more to go! When he was a few months old, he lost a tooth by hitting his mouth on the coffee table...he got five bucks for that one! But I hear the first one is always worth more! It was funny because Tev was certain he was going to lose a tooth now and kept wiggling his! Congratulations Daeson! You are growing up so fast and so big! We love you, our special boy! (The front tooth is the one he lost most recently. The one on the right is the one he lost as a baby.)

Christmas

Christmas was really fun this year. The boys are at that age where everything is magical. I was showered and dressed, I had put a load of laundry in, put a load of dishes in the dishwasher from the Christmas Eve festivities and I anxiously waited for the kids to wake up Christmas morning. Daeson came in to our room and asked if he could go to the living room to see of Santa brought anything. We made him wait. Troy got up and showered and Daeson ran to the bathroom...he came back declaring that he "Sneeked a peak and saw his presents from Santa." We decided we could not wait any longer and woke Tev. He did not want to get up. It was late when we all got to bed the night before. After mentioning the man in the big red suit, he was a bit more eager. After checking everything out and writing down what they had received from Santa, we took turns opening the rest of the gifts. This took a while...we all got very spoiled this year. We finished opening gifts and decided to head to Great Grandma's for breakfast. We do not do this every year so this year was as good as any to go. Each of the kids got to take one of their presents with them. Tev chose his new Woody doll and Daeson chose his MP3 player. Santa was smart enough to put several of his favorite songs on there...including When the Children Cry and Squirrels in My Pants. He was thrilled with it. After being fed hashbrowns, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, orange juice and milk we headed to the Ma and Pa Grovers. I made up a batch of Food Nanny's rolls and we opened gifts there. Everyone except Brad was there. We missed him, but he is off in Afghanistan fighting for freedom. We had a tasty meal of prime rib, rolls, potatoes, and other yummy treats. Adam and Kla gave Troy a game called Quorridor. Everyone loved it. They had so much fun. We had a great time and once again got spoiled. We tempted with the idea of driving to Grangeville since Troy had some time off for a change, but the weather was quite discouraging. I really wanted to be there, and the kids were wanting to be with Papa Ty and Gramma Cindy. Maybe next year...It was a great day and we were truly blessed to receive so much! Thank you to everyone! Oh, thanks Grandma Cindy for the Christmas Eve pj's...mine did not get made so I was grateful to have some for them to open that night!

Boys room

Well, last night we worked late. The kids' room is DONE! We moved them in and they love it. We added another clothes rod so they each have their own. I previously used the extenders but went for a more permanent rod. So, if anyone needs three metal rod extenders, they are your for the taking! We put new trim in and moved in their beds and dresser. They got new shoe bins and everything is nice and new. They had a hard time going to sleep last night because their beds are right by each other. Oh well, the newness will wear off eventually. We do have to put in the trim for the windows and the closet...we didn't buy enough for that. So today we will grab that so I can paint and put up.

The nursery room is all torn apart and almost ready for paint. I am excited to get this done. We hung a couple more doors...leaving the hall closets and the nursery door. The living room has not been torn apart yet. Jaden is coming back up on Monday to rip the rock, mirror and carpet out. This should take all of Monday. I have the carpet coming the 24th, so I hope we are ready!!! Trim should fly this weekend and we should be ready for Monday. Troy is headed back to the computer shop, so if anyone wants to come help me move large couches and tables, you can :). I need to have them all moved by Monday.

I hope it is all nice and shiny by the end of next week. Yesterday I spilled and entire gallon of trim paint...I was kicking myself all day yesterday. I will have to buy more paint and more trim and then we will be FINISHED!!! YEAH! I know Troy HATED remodel jobs, but atleast we will have something wonderful when we are done. Thanks Troy and Jaden!

Let the remodel continue

So the boys' room is almost done. Just another closet rod and some trim needs to be put up. Then the doors will be hung and we can start the nursery and the living room. We had it all bid out and it came in a little bit high. It just so happened my brother needed a job this week...so it is a win-win. I am so excited...by the time Troy and I leave for Vegas in Feb, it will all be done!!! I AM SO EXCITED!

Just and ordinary mom

Last night while we were waiting for Troy to get home, the boys and I spent an hour coloring in various coloring books. Daeson asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I didn't know. He said, "You could be a doctor like your dad, or a nurse like Rachel's mom. That would be a cool job." I told him that doctor school takes too long and I cannot stand the sight of blood so I wouldn't be a very good nurse. Both boys piped up and told me I should be a princess. I informed them that a Princess has a maid and a cook and lives in a beautiful castle. Daeson told me that Troy could do all the cooking and he would clean and then all we would have to do is make our house bigger. I was in a sad mood yesterday...previous blog about hormones...and I told him that I didn't feel like a Princess and that is not the job for me. He said, "So I guess you are just going to be like an ordinary mom."

I didn't know how to take it. I told Troy about this when he got home. An ordinary mom. Am I less cool because I lack a master's degree or because I don't save people's lives? In my kids' eyes am I always going to be an ordinary mom? Is that even a bad thing?

I have thought about it today. I have thought about the times that I could be spending with my kids and I choose to waste my time or get so caught up in keeping house that I don't take the time to be with them. To my boys I am ordinary the way I am now. I don't want to be ordinary...I want to be extraordinary. So I have decided to step it up. I may only have an Associates degree that I cannot do a single thing with, but I can be an amazing mom in my kids eyes if I step it up. Today Tevan and I made homemade marchinio cherry icecream. He was amazed. Then we spent time tossing the balloon back and forth. He helped me with a couple of little chores and then we read books. It was...fun. I loved it and it made me happy. Daeson has been at school and playing with friends so I didn't get to spend one-on0one time with him today. But I will. I want to do this on a daily basis. It didn't take long to spend time with him...just some patience. Maybe today I was not just like an ordinary mom...maybe today I was extraordinary!

Colds and the Sabbath Day

Cold season has been around for months now. It has been in our home several times already. Daeson has blown his nose more than I can count just today. The boys are sniffling, blowing, and wiping their noses constantly...Tevan mostly on his sleeve. I feel so bad for the little guys. So far Troy has not caught it, but I have had my share of tissues in the last week. At first I thought it was all the dust from the remodel, but I have since ruled that out. Daeson stayed home from school Friday and I am debating what to do tomorrow. Tev isn't near as bad as Daes, but nonetheless he is still sick. Mucinex, my usual friend, had not helped. Daeson, who once loved to take it, refuses now proclaiming "that it doesn't help anyway so why should I have to take it". We skipped church today. Troy had to work and I needed to be here with the kids. I made a delicious breakfast of omelets consisting of olives, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, bacon, cheese, tomatoes and eggs. I also made blueberry muffins and Troy cooked hashbrowns. It was delicious and much cheaper than eating out...I had one the other day and it ran about ten bucks. I made the whole breakfast for about 4.50. It was so tasty. Our friend Cal joined us.

I have felt pretty good today. After breakfast I was able to clean the kitchen. It has not been done since yesterday's breakfast. I changed all the sheets on the beds. The kids hauled all the laundry down stairs and I folded some laundry. I have several batches to do still...sheets and bedding take up so many loads. The kids, for fear that the vacuum would eat them, picked up all their toys in the toy room and their bed room. I know today is the Sabbath. I know we are supposed to be thinking of our Savior and keeping a calm attitude. But is it okay that I do things when I feel good? Is it okay that I let things pile up because I often don't feel good, then take the chance when I get it to get things done? I hope that it is. I hope that my Heavenly Father will take into consideration that I have church music playing, Glen Ronson delivered a great message this morning, and I have tried to keep my voice calm...even though my blood pressure rocketed at one point. I looked on LDS.org for family home evening ideas for tomorrow night. I fed a friend and called to let the ladies in the presidency know that I would not be there. I have tried to think of my Savior as I have folded the many batches of laundry and swept my floor. I have tried to keep a happy spirit in my home...except for the couple of spankings the kids got when Troy got home because they for some reason don't think that I have any authority. When they were asked to pick up the basement, Daeson declared that he had no idea what a basement was...really? He refers the the basement almost daily so he got in trouble for lying. He has done this a lot lately.

Well, I am off to start another batch of laundry and bake cinnamon rolls before heading off to Grover's. I hope the Lord forgives me. I am just trying to do the necessary chores before we start into the week. I don't even have clean unders for tomorrow. That batch will go in next :). I hope every ones Sunday was a bit more spiritual than mine. Maybe I can make the best out of the rest...until next time!

Family time

This afternoon we were able to have some family time. We shopped around, drank steamers from Great Harvest, looked for furniture for the boys' bedroom, and looked for cars. We did not do anything constructive per say, but we did get to spend time together.

What did I buy today?? Target is clearancing out their baby stuff. They had Carter's onesies packs for 3.98. So what did I buy? Little girl onesies. Yup. I did. It is not that I think I am having a girl...I can give them as gifts. However, if the baby is a girl, I just got some killer deals on some adorable clothes. I bought a blanket sleeper and some bibs, too. I wish the car seats and the other fun things were more than 15 percent off, but they should reduce soon.

I have decided to put bookcase headboards on each of the boy's beds so they have some personal space in a shared bedroom. After looking online and calling some of the area stores, we decided to go to my favorite store, Catmulls. We have purchased a lot from them and we were able to find two WOOD headboards. I was tickle because up until this point, we found particle board and press board headboards for a lot of money. Catmulls ordered us the hardwood headboards for LESS than the particle board ones! In three weeks, I will have the two headboards and the boys room should be done! (Except for the amazing ceiling fan at Home Depot that they want)

Car shopping. I don't hate car shopping, but I don't embrace it either. We love our Pacifica and it has served us well. It is a very reliable car, it is a great size for two kids, and it has all the bells and whistles a person could want...leather seats, rear heating, key-less trunk opener (which is my absolute favorite feature and will never own a car without one!!!)...but it is not big enough for three kids. Why? There are six captain seats. In between the middle seats, there is a big center console. In order to get to the back seat, you have to flip the middle seat up...or enter from the back. I will have three car seats and I am not removing a car seat to let the back seat child out every time. So, we would have to put Daeson and Tev in the back, the baby behind the driver and the other middle seat permanently folded forward. By doing so, we loose all trunk space. I cannot even fit my suitcase back there with the seats unfolded. See the dilemma? So we browsed today. We shopped most of the car lots in our dear city. I don't want to go back to a mini van...mostly because I love the wheel base of the suv and crossovers and the all wheel drive ability. I don't want to spend 40K on a car. That is a HUGE waste of money in my mind. Some people don't mind spending that much, and that is fine for them. I just don't want to spend that much. Troy did get an ARMADA 2007 talked down to 24K tonight...better price, but the stinking thing had 50K miles on it. Sigh. I want something nice yet affordable. We really want a Vera Cruz and we have had our eye on that for quite some time...two years or so. The problem is that you cannot find them used in our area. Last week we found one for 17,500 in AZ but it sold before we could tell the guy to get it here. They are nice and reliable and come with a killer warranty. We have been looking since we found out we were expecting. And we will keep looking until we find one that fits our needs. Or until we miraculously fall into large sums of money that would allow us to spend 30K on our desired crossover.

It has been a pleasant day. It started off not so great, but then Troy came home and we have spent time together. Ahhh, so nice. Now he is in his office playing video games with our long-time friend, Brian, and I am left to the bloggin world. The kids used their GC from Christmas for dinner, Troy and I are not hungry at the moment and everyone is happy. I am in my jammies and I am almost ready to bath the boys. They need to go to bed early tonight so they can make it through church tomorrow.

Church...the one place I am supposed to feel spiritual, but feel so overwhelmed and busy. Somehow we make it through every week and we keep going back. The boys are pretty good as long as they have stickers and coloring pages to work on...yet I look around and see children younger than them sitting and listening during sacrament meeting. I don't know how to accomplish that. I just want them to stay busy and quiet so that I might, just might get a glimpse of what the speakers are talking about. At least they know now that the treats do not come until AFTER the bread and water have been passed. As soon as the priesthood leaders sit down, they tear into what ever they can find. We keep going back and will always keep going back. It is something all mothers wrestle with at some point in their lives. I often wonder how I am going to handle a new baby and two rambunctious boys. It is hard to be alone on Sundays...some Sundays Troy works and others he just catches up on some needed sleep. I struggle with this. I survive Sundays. I make it through each one with the wish that my husband was there with me. He is a great man, don't get me wrong. He is just not a religious man. The kids don't ask where daddy is, they know. They don't ask him to come anymore for fear of disappointment. They don't ask anymore if they can stay home because they know the answer is a definite no with some lecturing and possibly yelling. Daeson loves church. He loves primary and singing time. He loves to be part of a large group and he loves his new teacher. Tevan survived Sunbeams lat week better than I expected. He has great teachers. His nursery leaders were amazing and I am sure none of the kids wanted to change. But they did a great job and he has equally amazing Sunbeam teachers. I get restless after being in a calling for over a year. I yearn for change...but it happens in due time. In our religion, we are asked to serve. There is no compensation...except for spiritual blessing we might receive. Everyone is expected and asked to do their part. Sometimes an organization will consist of a ninety year old woman, an eighteen year old woman, a thirty year old woman and a fifty five year old woman. Sometimes these are hard to work with, but we are all called by revelation...and we have help with these callings. Sometimes we are called to serve with people we don't know, people we struggle with, people who are dear friends, or people who we just don't click with. It seems to turn out that we grow closer when serving. I think that all goes back to the promise that our Heavenly Father has given to us...that He will not give us tasks bigger than what we can handle. I find comfort in this daily!

So, off to get the boys ready for bed. I just realized they don't have clean church clothes, so I better get on some laundry, too. Shucks, just when I thought I could veg for the night. I better get busy...until next time!

Emotions...contains some strong hormonal feelings.

There are many things that I am feeling right now. I know that pregnancy messes with your hormones, but sheesh, these are really strong feelings.

I am feeling itchy. This Idaho weather takes it's toll on my skin. I itch everywhere!

I am feeling lonely. I want my mom and dad. I need some body here with me. I need to be hugged and comforted. I am so angry sometimes that everyone else gets Troy's time. He started at the computer store and I have only seen him for a few short hours this week. Tonight he is in Rigby and Rexburg fixing computers. I am grateful that he is so knowledgeable, but I just want some time with him. I swear if anyone else asks him a favor, I will scream and throw a huge fit!!! Worse than the one I am throwing right now! I just need him. Period.

I am feeling scared. I am 18 weeks and I should be feeling this baby move. Nothing. I pray to feel something, but I am disappointed every time. Troy says I do this with every pregnancy (but with my last one I had placenta previa fro a short time) and it was to be expected. This time I just want to feel movement. Part of me feels so guilty for complaining so much about this pregnancy, but who embraces throwing up??

I feel like everything is a mess. My house remains torn apart...and it will remain that way until Troy gets a free minute. He never has a free minute. He is ALWAYS doing other things for everyone else. I feel like my needs or even my wants are constantly on the back burner. Tomorrow I have a contractor coming to bid the rest of the remodel. I am so tired of chaos. I do not know how people live unorganized lives and live in unorganized homes.

I feel sick again. Things were going so well and the last week I have just felt sick. Last night I was so determined not to throw up that I (gross, I know) swallowed it. I hate the feeling of throwing up...I have done it so much the last few months that I just want the happy tummy back.

I feel bad for feeling all these feelings. I know there are women out there who do not see their husbands as much as I do, but I am so used to him home and spending time with us. I miss that already and this new schedule has just started. I feel bad that I resent all of his computer clients. I feel bad that I am bawling my eyes out over something so ridiculous. I am a mess. That is all there is to it. I have how much longer??? I am grateful I can still wear my normal jeans done up and I look like I have a huge muffin top, but on the flip side, should I be worried I have only gained two pounds??? I worry. Yes, I worry about everything. It is in my genes. I come from a line of women who stress out and a line of women who worry about everything. People are constantly telling me to stop worrying, but it is hard for a worrier to not worry. I know this contributes to our amazing stomach problems and malfunctions...knots, stress, ulcers...you get he picture.

I feel sad, alone, bad, sick, itchy, worried, stressed, time crunched, overwhelmed and tired. There is nothing I can do about any of it. I will be worried until my doctor's appointment on the 18th. I will feel overwhelmed until my house is organized and put back together. I will feel sick until this pregnancy reaches 40 weeks and I will be time crunched until this baby is almost here. I will feel tired because I do not have the luxury of taking a nap everyday. I will feel bad until all these feelings magically disappear. No, I do not need medication...so for all of you thinking that I am a complete loon, I will survive. I am just having some hormonal malfunctions. I will settle down. I will make it through the next few days until the 18th and I will still miss Troy while he is gone. Tomorrow after the bid comes in, I will feel less stressed (assuming it is reasonable). I can do this. I can shake the yucky feeling I have. I can handle what is given to me. But, honestly, right now, I just want to cry and not handle anything. I just want to be a mess. I want to get it all out of my system and maybe, just maybe, the rest of the 22 weeks goes smoothly and perfectly.

New Year, New resolutions

I thought about the new year and wondered what I would do differently this year. To be honest, I cannot even remember last years resolutions and I probably gave up on them months ago. This year I decided that I would do the following:

1. Have a baby (I know this is a given, but I also know I can do it!)

2. Finish the remodel...even if it kills me...before the baby is born.

3. Read the entire standard works...Old and New Testaments, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenenats, and Pearl of Great Price.

4. Take time every week for family home evenings.

5. Plan and prepare healthy meals for my family, instead of eating out so much.

These are all reasonable goals and I am planning on carrying them all out. I know that some of them are easier than others, and are a sure thing, but I also know that the other goals are achievable with some work put into them. I want to be a better person and through one step at a time, I know I can be.

Back into the routine

This morning has been a rough one! Getting back into the school routine has been tough. It is 11:13, Daeson has school in 45 minutes and we are all still in our jammies. The house is a mess...still from the remodel and New Year's Eve get together. I finally got the kitchen cleaned up, I just need to seep the floor. I have laundry ready to switch out, the boys just finished picking up the plethora of movies and Wii games they have scattered all weekend. I still have one wall to paint and I am hoping the carpet layers come today.

This house is a shambles...everything from the toy room is in the living room, the stuff from the closets is in my bedroom and the odds and ends are going to the DI...another "pile". I will be grateful when this project is done. It is something that I have wanted since we moved in seven years ago. I can see an end to the tunnel...but it is in the distance still. My neighbor Kara visited me while I was painting. That was a great treat. Kaden, Troy's bro, helped him lay the hardwood in the hallway...or atleast part of the hallway is done. We need to put the boys' room together (the former toy room) before we can start the nursery and the living room. These will bee big projects. My two brothers, Just and Jay, came to do all the tear out. Troy hurt his back and this has been difficult for him to do. I am grateful they came to help, otherwise it would still be undone. It will be so great when we get things back to normal. When the mess is cleaned up, I can finally feel like we are getting somewhere.

Only 15 days until we find out if we are having a boy or girl. I would really like to have this all done so I can start getting prepared for the baby. This is exciting to me...and I have even softened my heart a little about the sex of the baby. I used to say BOY, but now I am open to whatever Heavenly Father decides to send. I guess we will find out soon enough. The sickness is subsiding. I have been doing okay. Some things still set me off,like exhaust and cologne, but we are doing so much better. The whole family is doing better. I am glad we were able to have a good Christmas. I will post pictures as soon as I figure out my new camera and how to load them on.

So, for now, I better get my act together by switching laundry, getting lunch, and taking Daeson to school. While he is there, I should have plenty of time to paint the last wall, walk on the treadmill, get showered and dressed and maybe even sweep the floor. I can also get dinner ready so it is a guarantee we are eating at an appropriate time.

I am grateful for my list of things to do. It wasn't so long ago that I could only lay on the couch and throw up. I am grateful my body is doing much better. Sometimes I even wonder if I am still pregnant. I have only gained two pounds, I can still wear my normal clothes and I have yet to feel the baby move. The Dr says I am now 18 weeks, but according to the first day of my last cycle, I am only 17 weeks. So, maybe the feelings will come soon enough. I am trying to be really healthy and I have now been able to take my prenatal vitamins. I hope that the baby got enough vitamins in the beginning to be healthy...it hardly got anything food or vitamin wise. Until next time...