Lookin' back

I have been able to scrapbook again, something that has been put on the back burner long enough! I have all the pictures scrapped of Kaebryn and now I am working my way back to 2008. As I was scrapping the pictures, three years behind, I got a reminder of what the boys were doing. Tevan's first haircut, ward swim parties, horse rides at Grandma and Grandpa's...it feels so very long ago, yet when I look through the pictures, I feel as if it were yesterday. I am so grateful for my family. I am truly grateful for the trials, hardships, blessings, happy times, and for the struggles that have made us stronger and better parents. We are very close, my little family, and I am so blessed to have such wonderful kids...though at times they can be trials. Nonetheless, I am so very glad they are mine for all eternity. Here are some pics from 2008

Dr apt update

Okay, so I never posted the results of her doctor's apt. from last Tuesday. She is not broken (insert sigh of relief). She just has a very severe neck kink and she favors the right side a bit too much. The Dr. stretched her neck...to the point of her screaming again. This was very hard to see her scream and not to be able to do anything! However, he helped it a ton. Already she is doing much better and her head is even looking better. I am glad I didn't wait any longer to take her in...I think we got it nipped in the bud now. She still favors the right side, but she will atleast look to the left now. And, she doesn't act like we are killing her when we do her physical therapy. Thank heavens! She is now in 6-9 mon clothes and she is a whopping 17 lb. She is a happy baby and she is beautiful! I will get more pics posted soon!

First laugh

Kaebryn laughed five times today...full out laughed! Troy and I were so excited to hear the first two yesterday morning before church. Then in Sacrament Mtg and then again last night while getting ready for the tub. She is so sweet and she makes me so happy! We just love her so very much!

Family update

I have several people ask about the Fred Meyer bakery position. They called last Monday and told me the would set up an interview Tuesday or Wednesday. I have not heard back and I have about decided that it is okay. We can try to hold off for a while.

Also, I have a dr appt for Kaebryn tomorrow at 9:15. I am going to insist on xrays of her neck and then go from there. I will post what happens.

Christmas 2011

It's time again to get ready for the holidays! Here are the lists of who everyone has:

Adam........Troy
Kla.........Kaden
Troy........Brad
Jandy.......Adam
Dani........Kayla
Toddly......Jandy
Heidi.......Todd
Brad........Danielle
Kaden.......Heidi

Adalyn......Sadie
Mieley......Ryker
Tora........Tevan
Ajay........Kaebryn
Daeson......Mieley
Tevan.......Adalyn
Kaebryn.....Tora
Ryker.......Daeson
Sadie.......Ajay

Grover limits: $5.00 kids. $15.00 adults

Justin......Troy
Hailey......Jaden
Troy........Carlie
Jandy.......Hailey
Jesse.......Jandy
Carlie......Justin
Jaden.......Jesse

Jaxon.......Tevan
Daeson......Jaxon
Tevan.......Carson
Kaebryn.....Brooke
Brooke......Daeson
Carson......Kaebryn

Smith limits: $5.00 kids $15.00 Adults

Happy Birthday, Babe!

Today Troy turned 33. We kept it very low-key and had a nice Sunday. I wanted to do a big party...if you know me, you know I like to throw a party for any reason. But, I restrained and did a very small birthday. Richard, Kaden, Adam and family, Grandma Grover and cousin Jayden came for steak salad...YUMMY!! It's a Food Nanny recipe. Then we had zucchini cake with cream cheese frosting, it was yummy also. Kara and Jaimen and Dave came to have a slice...and then Troy distributed some more cake. It was nice to have good weather and it was great to have Troy to ourselves all day. He is officially done working now and we see him a little bit more. Also, I have to announce that the average on the Biology mid-term exam was a 69%...Troy got a 98%!! WOOOWOOO! So, I will honor Troy by listing some of my fave things about him.(in no particular order)
1. He loves me.
2. He loves our kids.
3. He is smart.
4. He is kind.
5. He is a hard worker.
6. He would do anything for anyone.
7. He honors his Priesthood.
8. He hasn't missed a Sunday going to church for over two months.
9. He lifts me up when I am down.
10. He is good with tools and making things.
11. He likes to laugh and tell jokes.
12. He is honest.
13. He doesn't say bad things about anyone...even when I do.
14. He loves his family.
15. He makes people feel special.
16. He is working his bum off so we can have a great future.
17. He He loves that I stay home and be a mom.
18. He is really good with the kids and explaining things to them.
19. He makes up stories and tells them to the boys...Teddy and Rastus is a fave
20. He reads to the kids and gives each character their own voice.
21. He is a great brother, son and uncle.
22. He will take Sissy for me when I am tired, even if he is dog tired.
23. He has more patience than I do.
24. He likes cartoons.
25. He will watch a chick-flick with me even when he doesn't want to.
26. No matter what time it is, he will help a friend.
27. He likes to pick out clothes and had fashion sense.
28. He laughs at my jokes...and I cannot tell a joke!
29. He teaches by example.
30. He is strong willed.
31. He will rub my back and play with my hair at 2 am if I cannot sleep.
32.He is thrifty.
And the thing I love most about Troy...
33. He married me!

Friends

I know that there are some people God puts in our lives. I don't think that it is all by chance that we make the friends that we make. There is a time and a season for everything and everyone.

A few years ago I was sitting in a Relief Society meeting. It was outside...I believe at the Ward's home. We were chatting and having a great time. We all had to write on papers. I am not sure exactly what the activity was but we wrote something about ourselves and we had to guess who it was. The only story that I remember was about a girl who was changing her oil one day. She was a college student at BYUI and she had talked to her dad and he proceeded to tell her how to change the oil. She did. She was excited but didn't know where to put it. She dumped it if I remember correctly and got into trouble. I remember sitting in that meeting listening to this story and thinking, I need to get to know this girl. She seems super fun!

I did get to know her. I developed a strong, very strong respect for her. I have grown close to this amazing person over the last few years and I have watched her triumphs and struggles. I have laughed and I have cried with her. I have been blessed to have her in my life and she has helped me more than ever. More than she will ever know. Tonight I had this girl and her wonderful family consisting of five beautiful little girls and a great husband over for dinner. They are moving Saturday. A very very large piece of her will stay here with me. I am so sad to see her move. It literally breaks my heart. However, my season with Rachel has passed for now. She will touch so many lives in her new town. She will help so many more sisters. And, I know that we will see each other off and on. This is not a permanent separation. I know God sent her to me. I know I needed her to help me in my life. I know that the Lord chose her to pull me and help me and comfort me in this season.

I know Rachel that I told you tonight how much you have helped me. But words are not enough. Through conversations and service and actions, you have helped me become a better person. You have shown me that it is okay to not be able to do everything. It is okay to put things on the back burner and wait. You cleaned my very gross and dirty house when I was sick and pregnant. You brought sweet Violet, a baby herself, and you pregnant to spend the entire afternoon scrubbing counters, toilets and dishes. You brought me delicious food on an afternoon that I could not function. You have listened to my sob stories and responded to the silliest posts. You truly are a daughter of God. He loves you and I am lucky enough to have had you in my life. I love you Rachel so much. We are truly eternal friends and I know that you are a gift to me from our Heavenly Father. I will miss you and your beautiful girls. Girlies, love your mommy! You will learn so much from her. She loves you more than life itself. Nels, you are a great husband and daddy. I have been inspired by the stories Rachel has told me about you. You are perfect for each other. Be safe. Sandpoint is so lucky to have your family! You will continue to inspire me and I know you will inspire others. I love you!

Rolling Stones have it all figured out.

To quote the Stones:
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need.

There are many emotions rolling inside of me today. I received a phone call yesterday from the manager at Fred Meyer. He said they were impressed with my application/resume and that they were looking forward to meeting with me. He said I would be called today or tomorrow for an interview. I haven't heard anything yet, but I am sure they will call like he said.

I am anxious, restless, tired and a mess. I don't feel great about working. Yet I don't feel bad either. I am not sure what to do. I figure I will go into the interview and atleast find out the hours, pay, and benefits. If they are not what our family needs or can handle, atleast I have tried. Maybe that will be that I need to work, or maybe it will be that I need to stay home.

Kaebryn. Oh sweet Kaebryn. When she was tiny, she wriggled out of the blanket and rolled off the couch one night. Since then, she has not been able to turn her head to the left on her own. At her two month visit, I asked the doctor about it. He gave me some exercises to do with her. We have done these exercises faithfully. Her head is becoming mis-shapen. She still won't turn her head to the left. Today she fought me and screamed. She cried for an hour. Nonstop screaming. Then she exhausted herself and fell asleep. She is resting now, but wakes up to whimper and let out some soft cries. I am afraid she is broken. Because I go to the most sought-after doctors in the area, I cannot get her in until next Tuesday. One week. I tried to get them to get her in earlier, but no luck. I made a really good case, too. We have considered changing doctors, but I really like the one we go to. He is so sweet to my kids and they all love him. He is very knowledgeable and he can answer any question I have. So I scheduled the appointment. However, if her screams return after her nap, I might have to go somewhere else. I looked back through pictures and she has not always favored her right side. In fact in a lot of the pictures she has her head turned to the left. Until that day when she fell of the couch. I have large feelings of guilt right now. I have no idea how she could have fallen off the couch but she did under my watch. Sigh...

Daeson is loving school. He is doing very well and I could not be happier with his teacher. Initially I requested this teacher and they placed him into the other class. He was thrilled because some of his friends were in that class. We were super excited. Then on Back-to-School Night, we got a phone call from the school asking if Daeson would switch classes to accommodate the other student. We said that would be fine, Daeson was sad. But I am truly happy he is learning so much. He has a man teacher and he relates very well with the students.

Tevan. He is doing well. He is not going to preschool this year due to the change on our financial situation. But he is okay with it. He is trying to read and he loves to hang out with me. Mostly he watches cartoons when sissy is sleeping so I can get things done. I feel guilty about that, but I think I would feel more guilty for not having meals cooked or clean clothes to wear. When sissy is awake, we go on walks and read books. he plays outside and has a good time running off some of his energy.

Troy is busy. his last day of work was today. He is a free man, sort of. He has school tests this week for all of his classes so we have been studying. Ga is Gallium. We remember that because of our friends, Gallups. Ge is Germanium because it has German in it. He begged me to stop using Selena Gomez for Se, but every time he is able to come up with Selenium. See it works! He has a lot on his plate this week. But he will survive. I have been trying to help him as much as I can. Plus, I am learning too.

So through these trials, we might not get what we want. But we might just find what we need.

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to work I go...

Troy sold one of our businesses so that he can have more study time and actually do his homework. The other route we are "leasing out". His last day of work is next Wednesday. So, with health insurance being very un-affordable in Idaho, I am going back to work so that we can have this "luxury". I won't go into my feelings about health care...there are not enough words to describe how I feel about it. However, this is going to be a huge change in our family and a huge change for me emotionally and physically. I will still be the one to wake up with Sissy every night and then work early mornings. I have high hopes for a job I applied for. It is for a cake decorator. I tried doing cake decorating from my home, but business is slow. I love to do cakes and I have learned a lot over the last two years. I am hoping that things will work out. If they don't, I will keep applying to anything that will work around Troy's school schedule. I am grateful Kaebryn started taking a bottle and I am realizing things work out the way they need to. I asked Tevan today if he wanted me to go back to work. He looked at me and told me he likes me home. This made me very sad, but I know things can be left to Troy. He may not do things exactly how I do them, who on earth would!?, but I know he is very capable of getting the kids ready for school and taking care of breakfast. I hope to be back for lunch then Troy can go to school.

Troy wants me to be a stay-at-home-mom, but now we can share the responsibilities and both do what we need to do without taking our children to daycare...I have feelings about daycare, too. I used to run one and I was very loving to the children, but there is just something about someone else raising MY kids. They are my responsibility and I want to be the one to teach them what they need to know. I know in some circumstances it is necessary and I am not trying to offend anyone, but we do what we need to do for our families and we are the only one who knows what that is. No judgement!

So with high hopes and some experience, I apply and inquire. I am nervous, scared, sad and a mess, but we have to make it through the next four years. There will be cuts made and drastic changes to our budget, but it will work out. I hope. Yes, it will. Will it? AGH!!!

I will hold them longer...

Today I spent the day with my Gram. I am pleased to announce she is doing great and she has her smile back. She has been quite sick and I am so grateful she is doing quite well. We visited, shopped, ate, and visited some more. It was quite enjoyable. While at JoAnn's, Tevan decided to throw several fits. I was quite upset about his attitude and his actions. I was even more upset when a worker, who has never been married or has never had kids, made a snide remark about the way my child was acting. AS IF I ENCOURAGE HIS TANTRUMS!!! It was hard enough having him screaming and kicking while I was holding a very hungry and tired Kaebryn. I just blew it off and decided that lady will one day realize what I was going through at that very moment.

After dinner was put away and the kids were all bathed and in their jammies, we headed home. It was just before nine pm. After being on the road about 20 minutes, traffic came to a complete stop. I was stopped for about and hour and 15 minutes. I was grumbling, so I called Troy and complained. I was tired. The kids, thank Heavens, were all sleeping, including little Miss. I was so thankful. When the traffic started to go, I got excited. I was so glad that whatever the problem was was now being fixed and cleared up. I was still grumbling until I passed the cause of the delay.

It was a Honda Accord looking car with the front completely gone. The back was smashed. There was no way the passengers were okay. I realized that the one hour and 15 minute delay was inconvenient for me, but the members of that family or the doctors and paramedics would have a lot more worry time than I did. I had nothing to grumble about. My family was safe. They were with me, breathing, alive. As I continued to drive, I saw some of the debris from the car on the road. Diapers. Diapers were scattered. That family had a baby. This broke my heart. I am so sad for that family tonight and I pray Heavenly Father will comfort them. I pray he will take the pain from them.

I hugged my babies tonight. I thanked Heavenly Father for them...even for the tantrums they throw. I thanked Heavenly Father that I arrived home safely, that the diapers on the road were not Kaebryn's. I thanked Heavenly Father for life. No matter how many tantrums Tevan throws, no matter how many sneaky things the boys do, no matter how many late nights I have with Sissy, I am so grateful my children are healthy and happy. I am so glad they are mine and they are able to think and act physically themselves. So tonight, hug your babies a little longer. Hold them and love them. Thank the Lord they are yours!