Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to work I go...

Troy sold one of our businesses so that he can have more study time and actually do his homework. The other route we are "leasing out". His last day of work is next Wednesday. So, with health insurance being very un-affordable in Idaho, I am going back to work so that we can have this "luxury". I won't go into my feelings about health care...there are not enough words to describe how I feel about it. However, this is going to be a huge change in our family and a huge change for me emotionally and physically. I will still be the one to wake up with Sissy every night and then work early mornings. I have high hopes for a job I applied for. It is for a cake decorator. I tried doing cake decorating from my home, but business is slow. I love to do cakes and I have learned a lot over the last two years. I am hoping that things will work out. If they don't, I will keep applying to anything that will work around Troy's school schedule. I am grateful Kaebryn started taking a bottle and I am realizing things work out the way they need to. I asked Tevan today if he wanted me to go back to work. He looked at me and told me he likes me home. This made me very sad, but I know things can be left to Troy. He may not do things exactly how I do them, who on earth would!?, but I know he is very capable of getting the kids ready for school and taking care of breakfast. I hope to be back for lunch then Troy can go to school.

Troy wants me to be a stay-at-home-mom, but now we can share the responsibilities and both do what we need to do without taking our children to daycare...I have feelings about daycare, too. I used to run one and I was very loving to the children, but there is just something about someone else raising MY kids. They are my responsibility and I want to be the one to teach them what they need to know. I know in some circumstances it is necessary and I am not trying to offend anyone, but we do what we need to do for our families and we are the only one who knows what that is. No judgement!

So with high hopes and some experience, I apply and inquire. I am nervous, scared, sad and a mess, but we have to make it through the next four years. There will be cuts made and drastic changes to our budget, but it will work out. I hope. Yes, it will. Will it? AGH!!!