Camp

I am back, thank goodness! I did not take any pictures of camp so I will have to get some from Rachel. Girls camp was horrible. I should stop right there, but I am not going to. Every year I went to camp, I loved it. I absolutely loved it. Last year was great. We had a blast. This year, we had attitude, lying, stealing and empty threats. We had five great girls, two that struggled, and three that should have been sent home. If it were up to me, they would have gone home day 1. Unfortunately, they stayed and there was a HUGE lack of spirit in our camp. For those of you that know me well, you know that I do not have a problem baring my testimony. You know that there is very few times that I lack things to say. The last night up at camp we have testimony night. The girls were told that they would bare their testimonies, even if it was a testimony of being thankful for family and friends. I was the last. I stood up and said, "They say that the best is saved for last. Unfortunately this is not the case. We could have ended with any of the testimonies that have been born, because to be honest, I have no idea what to say to you girls right now. " I bore a very short, cold testimony. I told them that I knew that attitude has everything to do with the way camp turned out. I apologized to the girls that I had a horrible attitude about the way things had turned out. I know that some of you are thinking that it "couldn't have been that bad." It was. It was that bad. We had inappropriate conversations. I heard things that I would have died saying at 14. The girls that were there to feel the spirit broke down and almost went home. They were miserable! I am so sorry for the way that things turned out. I felt such persecution today at church when some of the moms glared, stared and, as Troy called it, gave me the stink eye. I have yet to break down and cry. I have tried my hardest to hold it all together. I have to meet with the Bishop at 3 this after noon and I am afraid I will break. I have struggled with my self since Tuesday. I have been absolutely miserable. Even at church today there were talks given that normally would have had me sobbing. I did not feel a thing. I feel empty inside. To top it all off, I subbed in Primary today because after asking 5 people to cover and being rejected, there was no one left to ask. Troy and I had only four in there, but it felt like the whole classroom was full. It was a monstrous mess. Thank goodness for beautiful weather and gummy butterflies! This is my last year as camp director and I knew that going into it. I have been to camp three times in the last four years. I am okay that my time as camp director is over for the time being. I am not okay with the way things were ended and I am not okay with the challenges the next camp director has to face. This was a learning experience for all of those who were willing to learn. I hope that the girls do not just remember the bad, but I hope they remember the little bit of good. We had a great hike. We hiked up to Saddlepack lake. It was beautiful and the swing was great. We had one night of singing and fun. The marshmallows were huge and fun to roast. There were some great devotionals given. The slide and teeter totters were super fun and the weather, all but one day, was great. The food was delicious and the couple of close times we had will be cherished. If they can take that into their hearts, camp will have been worth the countless hours spent on it. If they learned nothing, it was all in vain and I am sorry for those girls. It hurts my heart that these beautiful young daughters of our Heavenly Father do not realize their potential. They have no idea who or what they can become. That is truly sad.