Home at last

After last night's post, I took a deep breath. I went up stairs to check on the kids. They were both sleeping peacefully and Daeson had gotten up to go potty. Instead of sending him back to bed, I held him. I cried some more and I told him that I love him. He smiled so sweetly at me. I told him I was so sorry for not being a great mom the last few days. I held him longer. We rocked in my rocking chair and I took him to bed where I continued to hold him. I looked in on Tev. He, too, was smiling so sweetly and my heart got a bit lighter. I took a few more glances at the cake and decided to wait until I had a clear head to try it again. I did four batches of laundry and carried myself to bed at 1:45. I was happy that I had apologized to Daeson and I was really happy laundry was done, I just had to put it away. I made a to do list for today and I was feeling surprisingly optimistic.

Although I did not get up as early as I wanted to this morning, I did get everything done on my list. laundry put away, vacuuming, dusting and even the sheets got changed. The bathrooms were nice and shiny. (I must admit that a shiny toilet makes me happy) I was stressing a bit about the cake, but decided that I cried enough last night. My wonderful neighbor and friend, Kara, called to ask how things were going. She happened to have a cake mix that I could make for the top of the cake, and she offered to take my kids for me while I got help on the cake. She was an answer to my prayers...she was the miracle I needed. I got everything done, and headed to the cake store for help. As I pulled in, my heart sank. It wasn't Amy working. Tears, again, filled my eyes. I went in hoping someone there could help me. Another miracle happened when the grrl working happened to be a professional decorator AND she was willing to help me. So for two and a half hours, I got to know her and she helped save the cake. It wasn't perfect still, but it was better. My spirits were a lot better and because things worked out like they did, I was able to wait for Troy's flight before leaving to deliver the cake. Today was a great day. I got to see my family, almost everyone, and I was able to deliver a cake that I was okay with. The bride seemed happy about it. The bug cake was a huge hit and one of my aunts told me it was a fifty to a hundred dollar cake. It was mighty tasty!! But, the best thing about today: Troy made it home. I missed him so much. I decided I do not ever want him to go somewhere without me. He had a BLAST and enjoyed NYC so much. His pictures are incredible. I am happy he is home. The boys are super happy he is home, and the most important thing: He is GLAD to be home.

The miracle I was looking for happened. The help I needed came. My husband and best friend made it back home safely. I know that my Heavenly Father heard my prayers. I KNOW he made all of the small things happen so that I could survive another day. I am grateful for HOPE and I am grateful He answered my prayers. I learned a few things today. I need to be more patient, which I already knew, but the thing I learned was that I am a mother first. I should never let anything get in the way of that. I put my children on the back burner this week and for what? They deserve a wonder woman mamma. They deserve to be my number ones. I learned that my kids will forgive me when I screw up, but I don't want to give them a reason to have to forgive me. I am their mom. I need to be there for them and I need to be the person they need me to be. That is the lesson I gained through all of this. Cakes can wait, but my children are only small for a little while. They cannot wait.

I will post pics tomorrow, or the next day. Whenever I get a chance :)