Defeated once again

So, the four carrot cakes that I have made have all flopped. My mom told me that carrot cake always fallss...or maybe she was trying to make me feel better. The wedding cake was turning out. Was. I think it looks horrible and I am at a point that I have no idea what to do. I have tried everything and I think I am in over my head. The frosting will not go smooth...no matter what I try. The flowers are all crumbling. How on earth can I take this cake to the beautiful bride tomorrow???? As a last resort, I will get a sitter, take my cake to my teacher and BEG for help. Tears will not stop flowing. I am heart broken and I need a miracle. No matter how hard I beg Heavenly Father to help, nothing seems to work. Maybe I have jumped into this too soon. Maybe I am supposed to learn something from this. Patience, humility, endurance???

The kids were horrible tonight. I am at the end of my rope. I feel like for the past three days, my kids have needed me and I wasn't able to give them what they need. Tevan has thrown tantrums. Daeson has been so booby and whiny. Tonight Tevan sang himself to sleep. It was so sweet yet it made me feel so horrible inside. The one request Daeson had was for me to lay by him while he went to sleep and I shut him down so harshly. Today at Preschool, Miss Janet told me that I was an amazing mom. Tonight I feel like a failure. Defeated. Again.

I just pray that Jenny's cake will turn out somehow. I just PRAY that tonight goes well. I wish Troy's flight were already here and that I had someone to rely on and help me. Sometimes you just need someone here to give comfort when times are at their worst. I have now poured my heart out. I have willed myself to buck up and stop crying. I am sorry for the sad, pity party post. I always feel better when I get my feelings out and in the air. We will see how this all turns out. Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. It would not take much for that to happen.

Tired

Troy and his mom have been gone since last Sunday...early! This week has been filled with an over flowing to-do list. I have had several church meetings, baby sitting favors, three cakes (including a four tier wedding cake), preschool drop-off and pick-up, sick kids, laundry and a million other things I could list. Although I am happy my cake business is doing well, I have had to feat everything this week by myself. I am so tired as I have gone to bed after one EVERY night since Troy has been gone, and I have been awake EVERY morning with the kids regardless the time. Tevan has developed another ear infection and has not slept for three nights. Laundry is piling up and the only room in the house that has been kept clean and sanitized is the kitchen as I have had so many cakes to do. I am trying HARD not to complain (or cry), but it has been a very LONG and HARD week. I am grateful Troy has had an opportunity to have a week off, Heaven knows he needs some time by himself. So, I will drag myself back up to the kitchen to remake the carrot cake that flopped and hope that this new recipe is good. I will make a nutritious dinner and get the kids ready for bed. I will go to bed AFTER midnight, again. And, I will be up at the crack of dawn to get everything ready for my big wedding debut tomorrow. I will do this. I will not cry, though I am on the verge of tears. I will finish the laundry in the washer and the dryer. I will do these things because I cannot stand defeat. I will do these things by myself because I have no other choice. I will do these things and PRAY for the strength I need. I will do these things, and the minute Troy gets home, I will fall apart. I am counting down the minutes until he gets here. There are very few, thank heavens!!!

Bug birthday cake 8 out of 30

This cake is made with white cake and maraschino cherry flavored buttercream frosting. It is a 9 x 13 double layer. The dirt is smashed chocolate cookies. The bus are not edible, but they are very realistic. This cake cost $22.00 during my portfolio period. I used floral wire to suspend the dragonflies and fly above the cake. I need to write on it still, but I will do so with either brown or white icing.

Rose sheet cake 7 out of 30

I have found that white chocolate cake with raspberry filling is very popular. I made this cake with butter cream frosting and roses. This cake runs about $18.00 during the portfolio period. I would have liked the sides to be a bit more smooth, but I had about 30 minutes to ice the cake after the cake got done baking.

The man of the house

The other day Daeson said the following to my neighbor: "My dad left, so that makes me the man of the house."

Troy is on a bit of a vacation with his mom and Troy told Daeson that he is now the man of the house until he gets back. Daeson has taken this very literal and he thinks this includes punishing Tevan. He is very proud of his new responsibilities. He needs to tell everyone we see that he is the man of the house. Oh boy!

Dad time

Troy watched the boys while I ran some errands. They had a great time and I am just so glad there is no snow on the ground!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! My kids don't quite realize that on Christmas, Santa comes and on Easter, the Easter Bunny comes. We have to explain to them that they should go see what they were brought. They were super excited this morning. Daeson received a scooter (thank you after Christmas clearance), Sponge Bob bath bubbles, and a Bakugan. Tevan received a Diego trike (also after-Christmas clearance), Toy Story bubble bath, a little fishing toy, and a magnifying glass. And of course, they both got candy. We usually get them a new Easter outfit for church, but it is still cold and I am going to do that for birthdays in May and June. Then the shorter sleeves will be useful. I love watching my kids open presents. They are so fun...and very grateful for everything. I love it.

Daeson and his scooter

Tev and his magnifying glass

Out fishing

Checkin' out the eggs

Tev revin' it up with his new wheels

I wish it were nice this morning to go out to play....maybe in a little while.

I am especially excited today for conference. Yesterday's sessions were fabulous and I especially liked two of the talks. One was geared to women. I loved it!!! I felt so uplifted and so happy inside. I am not sure who gave the talks. We have to listen to it on the radio because we do not have TV. But I just felt so happy yesterday! I love listening to the prophet and our church leaders! Today, I am sure, will be just as nice and just as uplifting!

Family Easter Party

Family Easter Party:

Kaden and Tev with Shalese behind the shed
Daeson and Miki
Shawntel in the garden and Shad next to the house
Shade, Mik, Shad, Troy and in the back, Kip.
We had our Easter Party today. We had a great time and I think everyone had plenty to eat. Those who came: Gram Tom, Tucker, Miki, Dee, Kip, Mitzi, Shade, Shawntel, Shalese, Shad, Richard, Peggy, Kaden, Jaden and my little fam. What we ate: ham, funeral potatoes, pistachio salad, cherry salad, veggies and dip, spinach fruit salad, homemade crescent rolls and honey butter, deviled eggs, chips, and strawberry shortcake. We had an Easter egg hunt in the back yard...with coats. Everyone was able to "find" a ton of eggs and I think we will have candy coming out of our ears soon!!!! Thank you to everyone who came! I really appreciate it! I know it is a long way to travel, but I hope you enjoyed it!

We're back!

We had a great time in Grangeville, and aside from loosing my glasses and making a 10 hour drive with a massive headache, we made it home safely. We are back in full swing keeping busy...a bit too busy! :) Yesterday we made a trip to Pocatello to pick up our pig that my Uncle Kip raised for us...no, we are not keeping it in our back yard. It is neatly packed away in my freezer. I love the idea of meat that is home grown. My dad used to raise it for us, but now that he is far away... Anyway, we are having our fabulous Easter get together today. I am very excited for this. I have a lot of cleaning and unpacking today, and two Easter Egg hunts, but I think I can pull it off. We are also going to see "How to Train Your Dragon" sometime today. So, I was up and semi-ready at 6 and I am going to power through the rest of my morning, if I can get off the darn internet. On the menu: Two yummy hams, Yummy Potatoes, homemade crescent rolls, spinach fruit salad, strawberry shortcakes, and deviled eggs. I am not sure what everyone else is bringing, but I cannot wait! The weather has turned bad is is extremely cold, so I now get to clean out the garage...that I can wait for!

Happy Easter to all. I am grateful for my Savior who rose from the dead. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of my Savior. I am grateful for these special times that bring family together. He LIVES!!! He has made it possible for us to LIVE! He has made it possible to return to Him and live for ever. Families can be together FOREVER...what is better than that!?

Easter eggs March 31

We colored eggs at Grandma and Grandpa's. Daeson left shortly after they were done, and I had lost my camera. So, I was only able to get pics of Tev. They had a great time. Easter is so fun!

Grangeville

We have been up here since Thursday night. And right now, it is SNOWING!!!! Yuck! I cannot remember everything we have done, but today we ventured into "town". We went tot he book store, the drug store and out to eat at the Bistro. The kids are having a good time and they are soooo full of energy. The first couple of nights the boys stayed up until after midnight. I thought I was going to go crazy! But, I am now trying to get them back into mountain time so that we have a smooth transition at home Thursday. We are supposed to come home Thursday, and I hope the weather is good so that we have no problems. Thursday is the only day it is supposed to be nice, so keep your fingers crossed. Gram Tom came with us, so I will not be traveling by myself. It will be nice. Today I had a strange bump on my arm removed, and I was the best patient...hahaha. I HATE needles and my dad said there are probably better two year old patients. The bump is nothing to worry about, just bothersome. And...five stitches later, I am doing well. I can slowly feel the numbing medicine wear off and I might not be so happy in an hour. :)
The people in Grangeville are very nice and very close tothe members in the community. I like it here. I feel like I am at my second home. At church Sunday, I got to go to RS instead of primary. It was a nice little change, but I was so grateful for the lesson. Anne talked about acts of service. Sometimes we do not feel like serving, and sometimes after we serve we are happy inside. If we do service with the right attitude, we will always feel good inside. There is a girl, Cody, who lives up here and Ihave become quite close to. In fact, I got to hold her 7 mo old baby Sunday and he is sooo cute. Quite the smiley baby. She made a comment that I have pondered a lot since then. When Anne asked who had performed an act of service last week, Cody said she did laundry for her family. At first we allkinda snickered, but that really made a profound inpact on me. Are we truly serving our family members? As an LDS mom, I sometimes feel very overwhelmed with the things I am asked or expected to do. I sometimes look at the pile of laundry with a hatred feeling. I sometimes (okay, always. This is the thing I dislike to do the most as a parent.) look at bathing the kids as a huge chore instead of a chance to play with my kids before bed. Do I serve my family with joy? Do I serve my family with a happy heart? Am I one of those who murmurs the entire time I am serving? Do I ever feel that happy feeling while I am doing the numerous batches of never ending laundry? I should feel grateful that we have clothes to wash and dishes to put in the cupboard. I should feel grateful that I can turn the water on, inside the house, have it be HOT and bathe my kids with fun bath toys and TONS of bubbles. I should look at my ovwerwhelming tasks as service. By serving my family, I know that I am serving my Heavenly Father. I know he wants me to be happy, and service is one of the best ways to do that. Thank you, Cody, for your wonderful insight. I am trying to be of cheer when I am serving and I am grateful that my family is so patient with me. I am thankful they do not judge my every move. I am trying to find that joy in serving my family.

Bowling, Tevan style

The boys got a bit...restless. So, we mad a bowling lane for them to play with. This kept Tevan busy for hours. He loved it.

Grangeville fun...March 27, 2010

Daeson loves to ride the horses. This was just after chores were done. He insisted on his hat, chaps, and his new green and tan cowboy boots. This is Champ, I think.

Grandpa Ty told Daeson he would pay him a dollar for each bucket he filled with rocks. Daeson earned two dollars. But, he had a great time. This was one of the only nice days we had.

Birthdays are so busy around here! :)

We have a lot of number one birthdays this year...I have 2 nieces and two nephews. So, for Carson and Sadie, I made these cakes. Sadie's is white chocolate cake with a raspberry filling and buttercream frosting. Carson's is a funfetti-type cake with buttercream frosting. It was fun to make them and I hope everyone enjoys them...YUMMMMMY! Oh, the two cupcakes are for Sadie and her cousin, Lauren. They share a birthday and in return, they share a party! Have fun!

Acts of kindness...

Tonight I had an unexpected visit from my fabulous and wonderful visiting teacher, Cara. She stopped by to deliver an Easter treat since the kids and I will be gone for the next week. I looked like death because I have been sick a large portion of the day, and had just woken from a little snooze. (I AM NOT PREGNANT) I would have stayed in bed, but the kids were still up and I knew that if I didn't get them to bed in the next little bit, tomorrow's early preschool would have been a battle. She was asking how I was and I selfishly rambled a list of things that I still had to do to prepare for our spring break get-a-way. My list must have seemed a million miles long, and if you know me I HATE asking for help. I would rather do it myself than humble myself to ask for anyone to go out of their way to convenience me. She selflessly volunteered to make Daeson's preschool cupcakes for tomorrow and showed up and hour later with 24 cupcakes, frosted AND sprinkled. I feel very grateful for her. She is always so kind and thoughtful of others and I know she would never ask for anything in return. So, as I think of the things that I should be doing, but feel like I am going to throw up and pass out, I am blogging about how great she is. I am grateful for the people in my life. Cara, you might think that you just baked cupcakes, but that is leaps and bounds for me! Thank you so very much! I very much so appreciate it and I can rest knowing that Daeson's little class will get more than a bag of marshmallows tomorrow as their treat. For now, goodnight and I hope all is well...I think I am going to lay upstairs in case I DO get sick to my stomach.

Happy, Happy Birthday Richard!!!

Yesterday we celebrated my other Father's birthday. Unfortunately I only got pics of the cake because I took them before we went out to their house. But, yes, he did blow out all five candles in one breath. :)

I just want to say a bit about my other father. (My other mother hates the in-law word, so I say other). I look up to my other father. He is always willing to help and he is always there when we need him. He loves my kids and will often come get Daeson for a night over. He is patient with me and he has never made me feel unwelcome. I can remember our first conversation, and it felt like wI had known him for a long time. (I didn't meet any of Troy's fam until after we got engaged.) When I was prego with Tevan, I was one sick girl. My other father came to my house, cleaned it and helped with Daeson. It was a very small act to some, but it meant the world to me. He knew that I needed help...I was far beyond most help...and he stepped in without being asked. He just did it. That is the type of person he is. He just does it. I am grateful I have such wonderful other parents and I feel blessed to have them so close and involved with our lives. Happy Birthday, Richard. We love you and we hope you had a fabulous day!!!

Bowling

Lil' Mieley and Uncle Adam waiting with anticipation to see how many pins get knocked down.

I loved this picture of Adalyn and Daeson...

Kaden stopped by for a minute to check everything out.

We had a great time bowling and Tevan would yell, "I WIN!!" every time a pin fell over. It was so cute. The little kids whooped me, I never was a great bowler. But we all had a fun time and we will definitely go again. Tevan already has big plans for Grangeville when we go up Thursday! He carries his shoes around saying "Go bowling, go bowling." It is so fun to find the little pleasures in life. At church, he had me drawing bowling pins and balls! Daeson enjoyed it too, he and the two girls loved it. But then again, they always love when they are together. Cute Cousins! I did not get to grow up around my cousins, and I am so glad Daeson and Tevan see some of theirs on a regular basis. It makes life so much more fun! Thanks Adam for coming with your girls to the bowling alley! Kayla, we missed you and hope you and Tora can join us next time!

Organizing

Last Monday I presented an idea to Troy for the boy's toys. He hesitated, but I finally made the point that this would organize and keep the toys off the floor. Daeson's room was getting so cluttered and overtaken with toys, that I was going so crazy. I hated finding that missing weapon, or the missing turtle pizzas. There were crayons and color books falling off the bookcase and Daeson's prized possessions were constantly lost due to his pack-ratness. We loaded the boys in the truck and journeyed to the Home Depot. Troy thought we were going to price out the shelves, but I had another idea. By the time we left, we had a full cart and the materials to build. Troy finished the project late Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon Troy's friend helped us move it in. I LOVE IT! Troy did a great job on the shelf, and he used biscuits to connect everything so you don't see any screws except for the top and bottom. It looks great and I am so happy to have a husband who can create me crazy ideas. Thanks babe for all you do for the boys and I. Next project...our bedroom! :)

My very own Napoleon

Daeson loves his snow boots! He also loves to dress himself. His favorite type of pants are sweats and/or slicker pants and he loves oversized Tshirts. This morning, after he got himself dressed, I looked at him and instantly saw Napoleon Dynamite. I think it might be the boots, but I thought it was so funny I had to take some pictures. I should have had him pose with some Tater Tots. I love our little Daeson, he is just so full of personality and attitude. I love it!

Krabby Patties

These Krabby Patties were a huge hit at my 16 year old other brother's birthday party. The cupcakes are made from white chocolate cake with a raspberry filling. The frosting is raspberry buttercream. Everyone loved them and some actually thought they were real hamburgers! I was pleases with the way they turned out!

Happy Birthday Kaden!! I cannot believe you are 16 already...time flies when you are havin' fun!!!

Where's the Wiimote??

Tevan thinks it is hilarious to hide the Wii-mote in his shirt and then ask everyone, "Where go?"

It is so funny to watch him try to stick it in his shirts!

Underwear

Daeson has been potty trained since he was two. That is almost 3 years. However, he has an accident almost every single day. I am tired of this...so, today I am making Daeson understand why it is gross. I pulled all of his peed undies out of the laundry and he is washing them by hand until all the yellow is out of his whitey tighties. This may seem cruel and unusual, but I fear until he has scrubbed his pants until they become clean, he will continue to be lazy with his potty usage. I really believe that he "holds" it until it becomes too late. Then, he does not tell us that he has peed until I discover it on laundry day. He is always telling us, " I don't have to go!" He gets very mad when we request that he use the potty. I know that sometimes bladder control is hereditary, but I firmly believe it is laziness in Daeson's case. So, if anyone has some advice...I generally hate advice, but in this case I would LOVE to know what to do. His doctor doesn't seem too concerned, but I am so tired of it.

People are surprised Tevan has not started to potty train because he turns 3 in June, but I will not have TWO potty trained children peeing their pants on a daily basis. So if you have been through this or have any sound advice, I would love it. Until then, Daeson will be washing his underwear by hand in the sink until all of them are clean and Tevan will remain in diapers.

Clarification:

Not all Roberts are closing...just three of them. I failed to mention this in my earlier posts...so if you live in Utah, there will probably be one near you. But I did go there today and they are so sad. All the employees have to find new jobs and they are all so sad. Helpful still, but sad. Troy said I should open a Hobby Lobby or ask if they would sell Roberts to us, but I would have no idea how to run a store. And, if you have been to my house, you would know that I have NO skill for decorating!!! But I do wish someone would open something besides Porters and Michaels! I will miss Roberts tremendously!

Sick

The sick bugs have entered our house. Tevan started in with it Monday, which I am very confused about because we have not been anywhere! Not even church Sunday. He started in with it Monday, and he has been very sick. I have given him Albuterol treatments and he is still coughing like crazy. Last night was the first night he has been even remotely able to sleep. Wednesday, I started in with all the yucky coughing and runny/stuffy nose. Yesterday Troy started to get sick and woke up this morning feeling yucky. Daeson started to feel bad yesterday and today I kept him home from school. I guess it has to pass through all of us! We had plans this weekend, but I think we are going to cancel all and just stay home with a can of Lysol! I hope all of your families do not catch the horrible junk! Until I write again...happy thoughts and bacteria free!

Roberts

I am so sad today. I found out that after 20 years, Roberts craft is closing their doors. I love Roberts!!! I so wish I could personally change their mind, however, that will not happen. I do not like Michael's craft, they are over priced and very general in their selection. But this will leave that the only place to shop in this town. May 1 will be Roberts actual closing day. So sad...