Think PINK!

Yup, things are going to be a bit different now...it's a GIRL! The due date is still June 14 but the ultrasound due date is June 19, Tevan's birthday. I am going to do everything in my power to have it June 14. Troy is not sure what he thinks, Daeson is excited and wants to name her Jezabel, and Tevan was mad that she couldn't talk to him while having the ultrasound. Then I told him it was a girl and he said, Ahhhh!

So, I am trying to come up with names that we like. Our boy name is up for grabs. It was Asher Troy. By chance she comes out a boy, I will still name it that.

I lost my tooth!

Daeson was certain he was going to lose a tooth! He wiggled and wiggled his lose one and out it came with out effort on January 3, 2011. He ran upstairs and said, "Mom, I just wiggled and wiggled my lose tooth and it just like came out!" He was so proud of this. We put it in a zippie and he awaited the Tooth Fairy's arrival. She came. She left him a bunch of change in his zippie and boy was he excited! One down...lots more to go! When he was a few months old, he lost a tooth by hitting his mouth on the coffee table...he got five bucks for that one! But I hear the first one is always worth more! It was funny because Tev was certain he was going to lose a tooth now and kept wiggling his! Congratulations Daeson! You are growing up so fast and so big! We love you, our special boy! (The front tooth is the one he lost most recently. The one on the right is the one he lost as a baby.)

Christmas

Christmas was really fun this year. The boys are at that age where everything is magical. I was showered and dressed, I had put a load of laundry in, put a load of dishes in the dishwasher from the Christmas Eve festivities and I anxiously waited for the kids to wake up Christmas morning. Daeson came in to our room and asked if he could go to the living room to see of Santa brought anything. We made him wait. Troy got up and showered and Daeson ran to the bathroom...he came back declaring that he "Sneeked a peak and saw his presents from Santa." We decided we could not wait any longer and woke Tev. He did not want to get up. It was late when we all got to bed the night before. After mentioning the man in the big red suit, he was a bit more eager. After checking everything out and writing down what they had received from Santa, we took turns opening the rest of the gifts. This took a while...we all got very spoiled this year. We finished opening gifts and decided to head to Great Grandma's for breakfast. We do not do this every year so this year was as good as any to go. Each of the kids got to take one of their presents with them. Tev chose his new Woody doll and Daeson chose his MP3 player. Santa was smart enough to put several of his favorite songs on there...including When the Children Cry and Squirrels in My Pants. He was thrilled with it. After being fed hashbrowns, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, orange juice and milk we headed to the Ma and Pa Grovers. I made up a batch of Food Nanny's rolls and we opened gifts there. Everyone except Brad was there. We missed him, but he is off in Afghanistan fighting for freedom. We had a tasty meal of prime rib, rolls, potatoes, and other yummy treats. Adam and Kla gave Troy a game called Quorridor. Everyone loved it. They had so much fun. We had a great time and once again got spoiled. We tempted with the idea of driving to Grangeville since Troy had some time off for a change, but the weather was quite discouraging. I really wanted to be there, and the kids were wanting to be with Papa Ty and Gramma Cindy. Maybe next year...It was a great day and we were truly blessed to receive so much! Thank you to everyone! Oh, thanks Grandma Cindy for the Christmas Eve pj's...mine did not get made so I was grateful to have some for them to open that night!

Boys room

Well, last night we worked late. The kids' room is DONE! We moved them in and they love it. We added another clothes rod so they each have their own. I previously used the extenders but went for a more permanent rod. So, if anyone needs three metal rod extenders, they are your for the taking! We put new trim in and moved in their beds and dresser. They got new shoe bins and everything is nice and new. They had a hard time going to sleep last night because their beds are right by each other. Oh well, the newness will wear off eventually. We do have to put in the trim for the windows and the closet...we didn't buy enough for that. So today we will grab that so I can paint and put up.

The nursery room is all torn apart and almost ready for paint. I am excited to get this done. We hung a couple more doors...leaving the hall closets and the nursery door. The living room has not been torn apart yet. Jaden is coming back up on Monday to rip the rock, mirror and carpet out. This should take all of Monday. I have the carpet coming the 24th, so I hope we are ready!!! Trim should fly this weekend and we should be ready for Monday. Troy is headed back to the computer shop, so if anyone wants to come help me move large couches and tables, you can :). I need to have them all moved by Monday.

I hope it is all nice and shiny by the end of next week. Yesterday I spilled and entire gallon of trim paint...I was kicking myself all day yesterday. I will have to buy more paint and more trim and then we will be FINISHED!!! YEAH! I know Troy HATED remodel jobs, but atleast we will have something wonderful when we are done. Thanks Troy and Jaden!

Let the remodel continue

So the boys' room is almost done. Just another closet rod and some trim needs to be put up. Then the doors will be hung and we can start the nursery and the living room. We had it all bid out and it came in a little bit high. It just so happened my brother needed a job this week...so it is a win-win. I am so excited...by the time Troy and I leave for Vegas in Feb, it will all be done!!! I AM SO EXCITED!

Just and ordinary mom

Last night while we were waiting for Troy to get home, the boys and I spent an hour coloring in various coloring books. Daeson asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I didn't know. He said, "You could be a doctor like your dad, or a nurse like Rachel's mom. That would be a cool job." I told him that doctor school takes too long and I cannot stand the sight of blood so I wouldn't be a very good nurse. Both boys piped up and told me I should be a princess. I informed them that a Princess has a maid and a cook and lives in a beautiful castle. Daeson told me that Troy could do all the cooking and he would clean and then all we would have to do is make our house bigger. I was in a sad mood yesterday...previous blog about hormones...and I told him that I didn't feel like a Princess and that is not the job for me. He said, "So I guess you are just going to be like an ordinary mom."

I didn't know how to take it. I told Troy about this when he got home. An ordinary mom. Am I less cool because I lack a master's degree or because I don't save people's lives? In my kids' eyes am I always going to be an ordinary mom? Is that even a bad thing?

I have thought about it today. I have thought about the times that I could be spending with my kids and I choose to waste my time or get so caught up in keeping house that I don't take the time to be with them. To my boys I am ordinary the way I am now. I don't want to be ordinary...I want to be extraordinary. So I have decided to step it up. I may only have an Associates degree that I cannot do a single thing with, but I can be an amazing mom in my kids eyes if I step it up. Today Tevan and I made homemade marchinio cherry icecream. He was amazed. Then we spent time tossing the balloon back and forth. He helped me with a couple of little chores and then we read books. It was...fun. I loved it and it made me happy. Daeson has been at school and playing with friends so I didn't get to spend one-on0one time with him today. But I will. I want to do this on a daily basis. It didn't take long to spend time with him...just some patience. Maybe today I was not just like an ordinary mom...maybe today I was extraordinary!

Colds and the Sabbath Day

Cold season has been around for months now. It has been in our home several times already. Daeson has blown his nose more than I can count just today. The boys are sniffling, blowing, and wiping their noses constantly...Tevan mostly on his sleeve. I feel so bad for the little guys. So far Troy has not caught it, but I have had my share of tissues in the last week. At first I thought it was all the dust from the remodel, but I have since ruled that out. Daeson stayed home from school Friday and I am debating what to do tomorrow. Tev isn't near as bad as Daes, but nonetheless he is still sick. Mucinex, my usual friend, had not helped. Daeson, who once loved to take it, refuses now proclaiming "that it doesn't help anyway so why should I have to take it". We skipped church today. Troy had to work and I needed to be here with the kids. I made a delicious breakfast of omelets consisting of olives, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, bacon, cheese, tomatoes and eggs. I also made blueberry muffins and Troy cooked hashbrowns. It was delicious and much cheaper than eating out...I had one the other day and it ran about ten bucks. I made the whole breakfast for about 4.50. It was so tasty. Our friend Cal joined us.

I have felt pretty good today. After breakfast I was able to clean the kitchen. It has not been done since yesterday's breakfast. I changed all the sheets on the beds. The kids hauled all the laundry down stairs and I folded some laundry. I have several batches to do still...sheets and bedding take up so many loads. The kids, for fear that the vacuum would eat them, picked up all their toys in the toy room and their bed room. I know today is the Sabbath. I know we are supposed to be thinking of our Savior and keeping a calm attitude. But is it okay that I do things when I feel good? Is it okay that I let things pile up because I often don't feel good, then take the chance when I get it to get things done? I hope that it is. I hope that my Heavenly Father will take into consideration that I have church music playing, Glen Ronson delivered a great message this morning, and I have tried to keep my voice calm...even though my blood pressure rocketed at one point. I looked on LDS.org for family home evening ideas for tomorrow night. I fed a friend and called to let the ladies in the presidency know that I would not be there. I have tried to think of my Savior as I have folded the many batches of laundry and swept my floor. I have tried to keep a happy spirit in my home...except for the couple of spankings the kids got when Troy got home because they for some reason don't think that I have any authority. When they were asked to pick up the basement, Daeson declared that he had no idea what a basement was...really? He refers the the basement almost daily so he got in trouble for lying. He has done this a lot lately.

Well, I am off to start another batch of laundry and bake cinnamon rolls before heading off to Grover's. I hope the Lord forgives me. I am just trying to do the necessary chores before we start into the week. I don't even have clean unders for tomorrow. That batch will go in next :). I hope every ones Sunday was a bit more spiritual than mine. Maybe I can make the best out of the rest...until next time!

Family time

This afternoon we were able to have some family time. We shopped around, drank steamers from Great Harvest, looked for furniture for the boys' bedroom, and looked for cars. We did not do anything constructive per say, but we did get to spend time together.

What did I buy today?? Target is clearancing out their baby stuff. They had Carter's onesies packs for 3.98. So what did I buy? Little girl onesies. Yup. I did. It is not that I think I am having a girl...I can give them as gifts. However, if the baby is a girl, I just got some killer deals on some adorable clothes. I bought a blanket sleeper and some bibs, too. I wish the car seats and the other fun things were more than 15 percent off, but they should reduce soon.

I have decided to put bookcase headboards on each of the boy's beds so they have some personal space in a shared bedroom. After looking online and calling some of the area stores, we decided to go to my favorite store, Catmulls. We have purchased a lot from them and we were able to find two WOOD headboards. I was tickle because up until this point, we found particle board and press board headboards for a lot of money. Catmulls ordered us the hardwood headboards for LESS than the particle board ones! In three weeks, I will have the two headboards and the boys room should be done! (Except for the amazing ceiling fan at Home Depot that they want)

Car shopping. I don't hate car shopping, but I don't embrace it either. We love our Pacifica and it has served us well. It is a very reliable car, it is a great size for two kids, and it has all the bells and whistles a person could want...leather seats, rear heating, key-less trunk opener (which is my absolute favorite feature and will never own a car without one!!!)...but it is not big enough for three kids. Why? There are six captain seats. In between the middle seats, there is a big center console. In order to get to the back seat, you have to flip the middle seat up...or enter from the back. I will have three car seats and I am not removing a car seat to let the back seat child out every time. So, we would have to put Daeson and Tev in the back, the baby behind the driver and the other middle seat permanently folded forward. By doing so, we loose all trunk space. I cannot even fit my suitcase back there with the seats unfolded. See the dilemma? So we browsed today. We shopped most of the car lots in our dear city. I don't want to go back to a mini van...mostly because I love the wheel base of the suv and crossovers and the all wheel drive ability. I don't want to spend 40K on a car. That is a HUGE waste of money in my mind. Some people don't mind spending that much, and that is fine for them. I just don't want to spend that much. Troy did get an ARMADA 2007 talked down to 24K tonight...better price, but the stinking thing had 50K miles on it. Sigh. I want something nice yet affordable. We really want a Vera Cruz and we have had our eye on that for quite some time...two years or so. The problem is that you cannot find them used in our area. Last week we found one for 17,500 in AZ but it sold before we could tell the guy to get it here. They are nice and reliable and come with a killer warranty. We have been looking since we found out we were expecting. And we will keep looking until we find one that fits our needs. Or until we miraculously fall into large sums of money that would allow us to spend 30K on our desired crossover.

It has been a pleasant day. It started off not so great, but then Troy came home and we have spent time together. Ahhh, so nice. Now he is in his office playing video games with our long-time friend, Brian, and I am left to the bloggin world. The kids used their GC from Christmas for dinner, Troy and I are not hungry at the moment and everyone is happy. I am in my jammies and I am almost ready to bath the boys. They need to go to bed early tonight so they can make it through church tomorrow.

Church...the one place I am supposed to feel spiritual, but feel so overwhelmed and busy. Somehow we make it through every week and we keep going back. The boys are pretty good as long as they have stickers and coloring pages to work on...yet I look around and see children younger than them sitting and listening during sacrament meeting. I don't know how to accomplish that. I just want them to stay busy and quiet so that I might, just might get a glimpse of what the speakers are talking about. At least they know now that the treats do not come until AFTER the bread and water have been passed. As soon as the priesthood leaders sit down, they tear into what ever they can find. We keep going back and will always keep going back. It is something all mothers wrestle with at some point in their lives. I often wonder how I am going to handle a new baby and two rambunctious boys. It is hard to be alone on Sundays...some Sundays Troy works and others he just catches up on some needed sleep. I struggle with this. I survive Sundays. I make it through each one with the wish that my husband was there with me. He is a great man, don't get me wrong. He is just not a religious man. The kids don't ask where daddy is, they know. They don't ask him to come anymore for fear of disappointment. They don't ask anymore if they can stay home because they know the answer is a definite no with some lecturing and possibly yelling. Daeson loves church. He loves primary and singing time. He loves to be part of a large group and he loves his new teacher. Tevan survived Sunbeams lat week better than I expected. He has great teachers. His nursery leaders were amazing and I am sure none of the kids wanted to change. But they did a great job and he has equally amazing Sunbeam teachers. I get restless after being in a calling for over a year. I yearn for change...but it happens in due time. In our religion, we are asked to serve. There is no compensation...except for spiritual blessing we might receive. Everyone is expected and asked to do their part. Sometimes an organization will consist of a ninety year old woman, an eighteen year old woman, a thirty year old woman and a fifty five year old woman. Sometimes these are hard to work with, but we are all called by revelation...and we have help with these callings. Sometimes we are called to serve with people we don't know, people we struggle with, people who are dear friends, or people who we just don't click with. It seems to turn out that we grow closer when serving. I think that all goes back to the promise that our Heavenly Father has given to us...that He will not give us tasks bigger than what we can handle. I find comfort in this daily!

So, off to get the boys ready for bed. I just realized they don't have clean church clothes, so I better get on some laundry, too. Shucks, just when I thought I could veg for the night. I better get busy...until next time!

Emotions...contains some strong hormonal feelings.

There are many things that I am feeling right now. I know that pregnancy messes with your hormones, but sheesh, these are really strong feelings.

I am feeling itchy. This Idaho weather takes it's toll on my skin. I itch everywhere!

I am feeling lonely. I want my mom and dad. I need some body here with me. I need to be hugged and comforted. I am so angry sometimes that everyone else gets Troy's time. He started at the computer store and I have only seen him for a few short hours this week. Tonight he is in Rigby and Rexburg fixing computers. I am grateful that he is so knowledgeable, but I just want some time with him. I swear if anyone else asks him a favor, I will scream and throw a huge fit!!! Worse than the one I am throwing right now! I just need him. Period.

I am feeling scared. I am 18 weeks and I should be feeling this baby move. Nothing. I pray to feel something, but I am disappointed every time. Troy says I do this with every pregnancy (but with my last one I had placenta previa fro a short time) and it was to be expected. This time I just want to feel movement. Part of me feels so guilty for complaining so much about this pregnancy, but who embraces throwing up??

I feel like everything is a mess. My house remains torn apart...and it will remain that way until Troy gets a free minute. He never has a free minute. He is ALWAYS doing other things for everyone else. I feel like my needs or even my wants are constantly on the back burner. Tomorrow I have a contractor coming to bid the rest of the remodel. I am so tired of chaos. I do not know how people live unorganized lives and live in unorganized homes.

I feel sick again. Things were going so well and the last week I have just felt sick. Last night I was so determined not to throw up that I (gross, I know) swallowed it. I hate the feeling of throwing up...I have done it so much the last few months that I just want the happy tummy back.

I feel bad for feeling all these feelings. I know there are women out there who do not see their husbands as much as I do, but I am so used to him home and spending time with us. I miss that already and this new schedule has just started. I feel bad that I resent all of his computer clients. I feel bad that I am bawling my eyes out over something so ridiculous. I am a mess. That is all there is to it. I have how much longer??? I am grateful I can still wear my normal jeans done up and I look like I have a huge muffin top, but on the flip side, should I be worried I have only gained two pounds??? I worry. Yes, I worry about everything. It is in my genes. I come from a line of women who stress out and a line of women who worry about everything. People are constantly telling me to stop worrying, but it is hard for a worrier to not worry. I know this contributes to our amazing stomach problems and malfunctions...knots, stress, ulcers...you get he picture.

I feel sad, alone, bad, sick, itchy, worried, stressed, time crunched, overwhelmed and tired. There is nothing I can do about any of it. I will be worried until my doctor's appointment on the 18th. I will feel overwhelmed until my house is organized and put back together. I will feel sick until this pregnancy reaches 40 weeks and I will be time crunched until this baby is almost here. I will feel tired because I do not have the luxury of taking a nap everyday. I will feel bad until all these feelings magically disappear. No, I do not need medication...so for all of you thinking that I am a complete loon, I will survive. I am just having some hormonal malfunctions. I will settle down. I will make it through the next few days until the 18th and I will still miss Troy while he is gone. Tomorrow after the bid comes in, I will feel less stressed (assuming it is reasonable). I can do this. I can shake the yucky feeling I have. I can handle what is given to me. But, honestly, right now, I just want to cry and not handle anything. I just want to be a mess. I want to get it all out of my system and maybe, just maybe, the rest of the 22 weeks goes smoothly and perfectly.

New Year, New resolutions

I thought about the new year and wondered what I would do differently this year. To be honest, I cannot even remember last years resolutions and I probably gave up on them months ago. This year I decided that I would do the following:

1. Have a baby (I know this is a given, but I also know I can do it!)

2. Finish the remodel...even if it kills me...before the baby is born.

3. Read the entire standard works...Old and New Testaments, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenenats, and Pearl of Great Price.

4. Take time every week for family home evenings.

5. Plan and prepare healthy meals for my family, instead of eating out so much.

These are all reasonable goals and I am planning on carrying them all out. I know that some of them are easier than others, and are a sure thing, but I also know that the other goals are achievable with some work put into them. I want to be a better person and through one step at a time, I know I can be.

Back into the routine

This morning has been a rough one! Getting back into the school routine has been tough. It is 11:13, Daeson has school in 45 minutes and we are all still in our jammies. The house is a mess...still from the remodel and New Year's Eve get together. I finally got the kitchen cleaned up, I just need to seep the floor. I have laundry ready to switch out, the boys just finished picking up the plethora of movies and Wii games they have scattered all weekend. I still have one wall to paint and I am hoping the carpet layers come today.

This house is a shambles...everything from the toy room is in the living room, the stuff from the closets is in my bedroom and the odds and ends are going to the DI...another "pile". I will be grateful when this project is done. It is something that I have wanted since we moved in seven years ago. I can see an end to the tunnel...but it is in the distance still. My neighbor Kara visited me while I was painting. That was a great treat. Kaden, Troy's bro, helped him lay the hardwood in the hallway...or atleast part of the hallway is done. We need to put the boys' room together (the former toy room) before we can start the nursery and the living room. These will bee big projects. My two brothers, Just and Jay, came to do all the tear out. Troy hurt his back and this has been difficult for him to do. I am grateful they came to help, otherwise it would still be undone. It will be so great when we get things back to normal. When the mess is cleaned up, I can finally feel like we are getting somewhere.

Only 15 days until we find out if we are having a boy or girl. I would really like to have this all done so I can start getting prepared for the baby. This is exciting to me...and I have even softened my heart a little about the sex of the baby. I used to say BOY, but now I am open to whatever Heavenly Father decides to send. I guess we will find out soon enough. The sickness is subsiding. I have been doing okay. Some things still set me off,like exhaust and cologne, but we are doing so much better. The whole family is doing better. I am glad we were able to have a good Christmas. I will post pictures as soon as I figure out my new camera and how to load them on.

So, for now, I better get my act together by switching laundry, getting lunch, and taking Daeson to school. While he is there, I should have plenty of time to paint the last wall, walk on the treadmill, get showered and dressed and maybe even sweep the floor. I can also get dinner ready so it is a guarantee we are eating at an appropriate time.

I am grateful for my list of things to do. It wasn't so long ago that I could only lay on the couch and throw up. I am grateful my body is doing much better. Sometimes I even wonder if I am still pregnant. I have only gained two pounds, I can still wear my normal clothes and I have yet to feel the baby move. The Dr says I am now 18 weeks, but according to the first day of my last cycle, I am only 17 weeks. So, maybe the feelings will come soon enough. I am trying to be really healthy and I have now been able to take my prenatal vitamins. I hope that the baby got enough vitamins in the beginning to be healthy...it hardly got anything food or vitamin wise. Until next time...

Just browsing

I was just browsing some blogs while searching for a recipe...I stumbled across a friend's post about flying. She had a link...and if I knew how to post links, I would...to Stephanie Nielson's story on MormonMessages on YouTuble called My New Life. It was touching. It was inspiring. It made me cry...like the movie Charly. It was beautiful.

Fun family pictures...from August

I finally got some pictures of our wild west experience blogged. We had these done in West Yellowstone in August. The kids had a blast and I think that Troy and I had a good time, too.

Allergies or sick?

Last night Troy and I decided to take a break from life and got to dinner and Harry Potter. It was fun and, besides the fact we missed half of the movie due to potty breaks, we enjoyed ourselves. Rule of thumb? NEVER drink six glasses of water and eat Chinese food before a LONG movie. I always get thirsty when I eat Chinese...the people in front of us at the movies probably thought we were going our to get high or something with as many trips as we both made...and the bathroom was across the theater. I almost didn't make it twice!! Anyway, to the point. This morning at about 5:30 Tevan started wheezing and coughing. He woke up to tell me he had ucky coughs. I knew he was not sleeping well, so I got up, filled and plugged in the humidifier, covered him up with his great new snuggie and laid by him for a couple hours. He tossed, turned and coughed. I laid there thinking, "Great, a sick child for the holidays? Really?" But after laying there a bit longer, I started to realize that every time we go to my grandma's (who had a cat) he gets sick. Every time he gets around cats or other furry critters, he gets sick. (with the exception to dogs) Lat night we had some great friends watch the boys. They have rabbits. I think he may be following in Danielle's and my mom's footsteps: allergic to animals. I sure hope not. Benedryl makes my kids and husband go crazy, so I cannot give that to him. I am not sure what it is. I have no idea. Today he seems a bit better, whiny due to the lack of sleep, but better. So, tonight I will see how he does. I hope he is not sick, it is not fun to be sick on the holidays. I feel bad for him. Poor Tevan, it's been a rough time for him lately.

Sweet sixteen

Today I went to the doctor thinking I was 15 weeks, but he informed me that I was 16 weeks and that on January 18 at 1:30, I will find out if my baby is a boy or a girl. This is exciting for me. Tevan didn't like the doctor's office much...he declared that he hates babies. However, he said that I was good so that I got a candy. What a funny kid!

I have felt okay lately. Last night was a bad night...I was very sick to my stomach, tired, emotional, and kinda blue. I have overwhelming feelings sometimes. I have a lot to do before Christmas, before tax season, before this baby comes and before the summer hits with all of it's demands. One day at a time is what my motto should be, but I am not that personality to do that. I want it done, period. I want to get it off my list and out of my overstressed brain.

This past Saturday we had the Smith Christmas parties. Saturday night my brothers came to my house for a rockin' partay. This was fun to visit and open gifts. I got a really neat picture and some bath soap and lotion from Justin and Hailey. Troy got a neat spot light thing from Jess and Carlie, Daeson received a Star Wars Lego set from Jaxon, and Brooke gave Tevan a Lightening McQueen snuggie. We had good food and happy spirits. Brooke spent the night, that doesn't happen, ever. We had a good time with her. We took her to Primary and sang to her. She even got to sing with the Primary kids in Sacrament Meeting. Everyone knew she was my niece...some even thought she was my daughter. We were glad she got to stay the night with us. We don't get to see them often enough.

Sunday we went to Pocatello to visit. We saw Aunt Virginia and Darrold and Grandma and Grandpa Lish. We had a great visit...but they are never long enough. We were headed to Aunt Lindy and Uncle Ron's, but they live by the ski hill and the roads were not permitting. So, we will visit them soon. At Dee's we had good food and great company. I even got adventurous and tried Uncle Kip's bbqed meat...what kind of animal you ask??? After I ate it, swallowed it, and declared that it was pretty good, they told me it was cougar. Yup, I ate cat. I am not sure how to feel about this...but to be honest, it wasn't bad. We played fun games and had a lot of good laughs when it came to the home videos...I think I was 12 and got a glance of how I acted...I was kinda a brat. I was shocked even at some of the things I said and how I acted. I didn't even know those videos existed. The roads were good and we made it home in good time.

Last night we went to a live nativity. This is always a fun family tradition. I didn't get any pictures...surprised? But we had a great time. We even got to see our old dog, Kai, who is now Tugger. This made Daeson's day. He was on cloud nine. What a great family home evening...or as Tevan calls it "Flamly Home Namename." I love it! I started feeling ill yesterday afternoon and had to take medication all day. I was certainly glad I took it on the way to the nativity as it is held in a real stable. The smell was intense, but the setting was so authentic. It made me realize how amazing and wonderful Mary must have been. What an experience she must have had. I bet Joseph shed some silent tears as well, for how could he take this strong and amazing woman into a stable to give birth to the Son of God? I definitely pictured the stable last night as we sat on straw bales watching this historical event acted out. Moving, just moving.

My Christmas list piles up...neighbor treats are probably not happening this year. Sewing for Christmas Eve is supposed to be happening right now...and the laundry and house work falls behind every day. Sigh...............Oh well. That is all I can say for now. Christmas cards will be mailed today. One thing off the list. Presents are in order and Tevan's Woody doll came in the mail yesterday. Stockings have the items purchased to be stuffed and the bows are all in place.

Tevan plays amazingly well by himself and I enjoy the times that he and Daeson are separated because that means they are not fighting. This happens a lot lately...about everything!!!! I hear, thump...screaming...then the famous phrase, "I'm telling on you!!". Everyday...at least five times we go through this routine. They are angels when they are sleeping and when they are by themselves, but put them together and they fight and bicker about EVERYTHING! Maybe it is the age...maybe it is the fact they have a lot of free time and not enough constructed activities to keep them busy. Who knows? Not event he threat about Santa not coming works. With only 4 days until Christmas, they better be on their best behavior!

Countdown until Christmas

Every year I do the 12 days of Christmas for the boys. I used to do it for Troy, but it got too hard to figure out the 12 days. After 10 years, I quit. I will go back to doing this for him after the kids are grown. This year, because of the lack of ability to go out, I am not doing this for the boys this year. I am kinda sad, and since the countdown has begun, I sorta miss this tradition. I also realized that I have lost track of when Christmas is. Today is the 16th. It is Thursday. I have something planned every day until Christmas...every day. There is not one spare moment. I still have so many things to do...I am afraid I will not get everything done. The bad part is that some of these tasks need to be done by Saturday and some by Sunday. Others don't have to be done until Christmas Eve...but even then I am not sure if I can accomplish all of that. I have an apron to make, pj bottoms for the boys and Troy for Christmas Eve, goodies to bake and chocolates to dip. I have a couple more gifts to wrap and I still have to purchase something for Troy. Any ideas??? I still have cards to send, parties to plan, and a house to clean. Sigh...I love the holidays, but man they are busy.

Tevan's last preschool day was today until Jan 4. This is fun to have him home, but a bit more time consuming. Daeson gets out of school Wednesday. He is ready for Christmas. He is excited for Christmas. He went shopping last night with Grandma Blue. I guess he asked her if Santa was real...really? At age FIVE???? Shhesh! I did not find out until I was TWELVE!!! That is right. I was devastated. I still love the magic of Santa. I still love that he is a part of Christmas. I love that I can threaten my children to be good because of him!

So on this 16th day of December and only 8 days to get everything done, good luck to all of you who are still preparing and running behind...I hope I am not the only one on a sinking ship!!! :) Merry Christmas to all of you...I am off to sew some pjs and an apron.

Tevan's fetish

Tevan has a fetish with Toy Story 3. He has no ides his Grandparents got it for him for Christmas, and I know he will be overjoyed. Well, last night I told Tevan I had the Toy Story 3 Barbie in my old toys...you know, the one with the nice leg-warmers? I actually have two of them. We got them our of storage today. I also got Ken out. Tevan is so happy right now. I never thought Barbies would make my son happy, but they did!!! It is so funny to me to watch him play with Buzz, Ken, Barbie, Mr and Mrs Potato Head and pretend he is acting out the movie. You make me so happy, Tevan! I love you so much!!!

Survival

I am surviving...I am actually doing quite well of late. I am taking the max amount of Zofran some days, but some days I do not have to take anything at all. I am officially 14 weeks and this baby is growing...or according to my expanding waistline it is growing. I have taken to the treadmill lately and I love the burn after a couple miles with an incline of six percent with some leg squats thrown in. I forgot how much I like to exercise and I am grateful that I am able to now. I also am able to eat a variety of foods. I still don't do a lot of red meat but chicken and pork seem to taste well. Sweets are still out of the question. I could not even attempt an eggnog milkshake the other night. How sad is that. It is what I crave 10 out of 11 months and now that I can have it, I cannot stomach it. Go figure. However, I am trying to regain my role as a mom and a house keeper. This still makes my stomach turn but I can at least keep up. I am grateful. Troy is grateful. My kids are grateful.

Christmas cards have consumed some time this year. I am behind as I usually have them done by Thanksgiving. I also usually have my shopping done and wrapped by the very latest Thanksgiving. This is still not completed. I have a couple of things to pick up for Troy and the boys need to get something for each other. We have a lot of parties coming up and busy days ahead. The kids and I read a Christmas story every night before Christmas starting Dec. 1. This is a fun tradition that we have done for quite some time. This year we also did the countdown for the Friend. The boys have enjoyed this, although there are some days we have forgotten and had to catch up. Tevan and Daeson are handling the fact they are not allowed to touch the presents under the tree. I thought for sure Tevan would cave, but after the first couple days he didn't even pay attention to them.

We will be posting some fun pictures soon. I promise. We have the nativity, gingerbread houses, my family Christmas party, the Smith family Christmas part, the Harris family Christmas party and a primary activity coming up. I am not sure if Daeson's school does anything for Christmas, but Tevan's preschool always has a fun party. This is always exciting. The kids have a blast.

I cannot believe Christmas is less than two weeks away. Sigh. I haven't done any baking yet and I still haven't prepared anything for friends and neighbors. Peggy leads us every year in homemade chocolate making, but I am not sure it is going to get done this year. I hope so because I love it, but we are quickly running out of time. Merry Christmas!

Doing it on my own

Well, my mom left yesterday after a week of being here. It was so great to spend time with her. Fortunately there were a few days that I felt good enough to do a little shopping. So, I will back up (mostly for journaling purposes so I don't forget) and share her stay.

Thursday after she got here, we traveled to Rexburg for a small Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma Grover's. There were not a whole lot of us there, but it was great to visit and enjoy each other's company. Troy's uncle married a lady from Inkom who lived right by my mom. So, they got to chat a bit and catch up. After dinner, I started feeling queasy so I kept eating my B-Natal suckers from the doctor and we braved the movie theater. We all enjoyed the movie Tangled but we were forced to sit in the front seats due to lack of seating. I had no idea that many people go to the movie on Thanksgiving!!! The boys loved it and we had a great night.

Friday we took it a bit easy. I didn't feel too well, but there was no where we needed to be. Troy took the boys to Grovers to work on Peggy's wood floor.

Saturday Troy took the boys to his mom and dad's again. Mom and I ventured out in the after noon to do a bit of shopping. This was a nice break to get out, but I still didn't feel super. After dinner, we headed home to lay down. We picked up a couple of names off the angel tree and I decided that we would do this for FHE.

Sunday we had a nice time at church. We were just a few minutes shy for the sacrament, but I was suprised to see us there at all. Primary went well and I was pleased at how well I felt...with the help of Zofran. Later, the story changed and I threw up, threw up, threw up. Warning: Do not eat popcorn before throwing up. It is not pleasant. I laid down after this episode and soon was asleep.

Monday I was determined to feel good. We took the boys shopping for the angel tree stuff and then had dinner at Sizzler. I am glad the salad bar was so stocked with yummy food. I was able to eat a lot of things I have not been able to lately. We filled the order with the exception of a batman toy. We could not find one we liked.

Tuesday Troy headed to his mom's again. This time finishing the floor. Yeah! Tevan went to preschool early at 9, I had Primary presidency meeting at 9 and Daeson had to go to school at 12. We took mom to get her hair cut, went to Jack-in-the-Box for a quick lunch and ran some errands. We got the angel tree boys some boots and coats and finally found a batman. We picked Daeson up at 3:30 and did a bit more shopping. We had tacos for dinner...surprisingly I crave these things! We had our formal FHE and it was great to talk about service and giving. We were able to purchase for two boys: pants, long sleeved shirt, a zipper sweater, boots, a toy, and coats. Mom helped fill the order and we all had a great feeling inside. I am glad that the boys can learn early in life that giving is a necessary part of life on this earth.

Wednesday we dropped and picked up Daeson. We loaded pictures on to the computer and ordered them from Walgreens. Christmas cards are about ready to be sent out!!! We went to the Dollar Tree and got some necessary items to wrap gifts with. We ran to the mall, the boys saw Santa (I did not think he was very jolly though). I was able to get some maternity clothes...already!!! I cannot believe at 12 weeks my body is ready for maternity clothes. I guess with this being my third baby, everything starts a little early! After the mall, we went to our ward party. I felt bad for Judy, she and her husband were in charge. They planned on 96 people being there and there were A LOT more than that! The primary sang and the choir did some beautiful numbers. We also had a piano solo by a guy in our ward who plays the piano beautifully. We were ready to go home by the time this night was over. We were all tired and ready for bed.

Thursday mom got ready to leave. This was sad for me. The boys were sad, too. I worked on Christmas cards to be mailed, we wrapped some gifts and I picked up Daeson from school...almost not making it. I was so queasy that I had to take two Zofran during the day. This is becoming a regular thing to just make it through the day. Troy's truck was a day behind getting to the warehouse, so we cut it close leaving to Pocatello to take mom down. But, we made it by 6:30 and we were at the Golden Corral by 6:33. It was nice to see my brothers and to visit with them. And, once again it was so nice to eat some good food that I had been craving. I recently swore off mashed potatoes, but I chanced it last night and they tasted soooo good. The cantelope and the grapes were good, too. We got home about 9:30 with out mom. She stayed at Justin's and they left this morning to go to Boise where my dad will pick her up.

Friday is here. The day I have been dreading all week. The boys were easy this morning and wanted cereal. They have been eating a lot of cereal lately where I usually only let them have it on Saturday mornings. Tevan has been eating a TON of everything, but mostly applesauce, grilled cheese, mac and cheese and cereal. Daeson is getting a bit more picky with his food choices. I made it through lunch and now I am staring at my treadmill wondering if I get on, will I be able to do a good walk or if half way through I am going to get sick and not be able to go on. I have got to do something to get my blood pumping. I feel like the last nine weeks has been spent on the couch. I have been able to do some great reading, but other than that my body feels neglected. I am getting a bit bigger, faster, than with Tevan. I am trying to stay positive, but if I don't gain 30 pounds like I did with the boys, I am okay with that. I think I would prefer to gain about 15-20 max. I am not trying to loose weight, I just want a healthy pregnancy. I was doing really well on the treadmill when I first found out that I was pregnant, then I got that horrible cold, then I got to sick to do anything. Now, with two pills a day, I should be able to tone this up a bit.

The boys called Grandma this morning and told her they missed her and that they were sad that she was gone. They love their Grandparents! I wish Mom's visit were a bit more fun for here, but I really appreciate all that she did for my family. She ended up washing about 27 batches of laundry in one week! Everything in our house was dirty...sheets, towels, clothes, pajamas...you name it. Troy tried to keep up, but he had so much to do! Thank you, Mom, for coming and doing so much. I really appreciate it and I know my kids and Troy did too. Troy teased me the whole time about not being able to keep up with my mom and she was the one doing everything! Haha. So, today I am doing it all on my own with a bit of help from Troy. He has to work long hours lately because the snow prevents the trucks from being here on the day they are supposed to. I am trying to figure out what to have for dinner, heavens knows we do not need to eat out again!!! I need something easy and non smelly if anyone has a great recipe!!!

A funny thing about Tevan lately: He is always telling me he loves me, but he tells Troy he hates him. Not nice, but it does make me feel like he is still my baby boy. He told me today, "I love you mom and that makes you happy." You are right Tevan, it does make me happy.

Grateful

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving on Saturday with my family. On my mom's side, everyone was there and we took a group picture...the first full group since Great Grandma died. On my dad's side, we were missing one and and uncle and their kids...two are on missions, two live in Boston and the others had plans. We missed them, but we enjoyed the company we had there. It was really nice to see everyone! We cooked, cooked and cooked. We loaded the car and barely fit everything in there, and I have a big car! We, as usual, had way too much food and it all tasted so yummy. The Zofran was slow to work Saturday, but it kicked in just in time for the big feast! Yummy!

Sunday we enjoyed the Grover Thanksgiving. It was equally delicious and a ton of food there, too. I love Aunt Vicky's guac dip and it hit the spot! My Zofran failed me Sunday...well, not completely. I managed to keep everything down, I was just nauseated and yucky feeling. We had every member of the family there on the Grover side minus Brandon and Zach. Bran lives in Washington and was working. Zach had previous plans. We missed them both, but I was so grateful we got a picture. WE HAVE NEVER HAD A FAM PIC IN 10 YRS! I don't think everyone was thrilled, but I made them do it anyway. It turned out pretty good and as soon as I can get a pic from someone with a camera, I will post pictures. I have taken my camera everywhere, I just have not used it!

I went to the Dr yesterday. I really like my new Dr and he was very good to get a long with. His staff is wonderful and I felt right at home. I love it! I have been spotting since Friday, and I was very concerned. He couldn't find anything wrong with the cervix, so he said just to lay low (as in stay on your couch and don't do anything) and if it gets worse, call. So, Dr orders: temporary bed rest until the bleeding stops. Great. But, the heartbeat and everything else looks great. I was so happy to hear that because I was quite worried about it. he said it could be from the amt of throwing up I have been doing, too. But, all in all everything looks great and I should be (theoretically) feeling better in the next two weeks. I am 11 weeks now, but they wrote my due date as June 4th. Lets hope.

Today I got a pleasant surprise. My other mother came over to clean. She did a few batches of laundry, she did all the dishes, cleaned the bathrooms, kitchen, toy room, living room and vacuumed the whole thing. She also made me my favorite banana cake. Unfortunately she had to listen and watch me throw up. I always hate throwing up in front of people yet I am sure they hate it worse!! She is a good lady and I appreciate all that she has done for me! I am grateful for great inlaws!

My mom is stuck in Pocatello right now. She was going to come Monday, but we have gotten so much snow that it has been impossible for her to make it. Tomorrow she will be here and I will be glad to spend time with her before she has to go back next week. The kids have been missing her, too. So, tomorrow we get to have Grandma full time for a while. I just hope she doesn't get burned out with all of us making so many demands!!! The boys require a lot of attention form their Grandparents, and I am sure I am the one who made them that way. I love having Grandparents around. I never got that after the age of 7.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am sure that a lot of you will be traveling. Be safe. I am sure a lot of you will be enjoying a wonderful, yummy dinner. Enjoy. I am sure some of you will be going to bed early so that you can rise and shine for Black Friday. Be one of the NICE shoppers instead of the mean and vengeful ones! For my family? We are going to enjoy a movie (depending on how I feel it will be here or at the theater) and we are eating out. I feel a bit guilty making people work on Thanksgiving. However, I am going to enjoy a day off from all the hustle and bustle of traditional turkey day and we are going to enjoy our boys and my mom. Relaxing. To all of you, have a safe and great Thanksgiving. May we all have things to be grateful for. Things are tight for most families, but I know we each have something to be grateful for. This year, I am grateful for my three boys, for family and friends who have helped make this pregnancy a little bit easier, for the prayers that have been said in my behalf and for the wonderful support I have been given. I am grateful for a husband who works tow jobs, does the laundry, cooks the meals, does the dishes and takes care of my two children. I am grateful this year for a body that functions. I might not be grateful when I am throwing up constantly, but I am grateful that it is able to form a baby with as little nutrition and health as it has been given. I am grateful for a home...right this second it is a clean home. I am grateful for warmth. I often complain that our house it too hot because Troy like to crank the heat up. He is outside all day in the cold and I am grateful he can come home to a warm house. I am grateful this year for love. I know that I am loved by Troy, my boys, my family and a loving Heavenly Father. I know my prayers have been answered. I know that I am a child of a very loving Heavenly Father who watches out for me and loves me so much. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving? Yup. Tomorrow my family celebrates Thanksgiving. Sunday, we celebrate with Troy's family. Today I started on Zofran. What do I think? Miracle drug! It was so great today to eat, keep it down, and I left the house!!! We shopped for groceries...and not even the meat counter made me sick. The down side? I am not sure if my mom is staying now. I wish she would, but I understand if she decides I am "back to normal."

Tonight we made three coconut cream pies, two banana cream pies, an apple pie, a razzle berry pie, a pumpkin pie, and a chocolate pie, five dozen rolls, a cherry salad, a coleslaw-Waldorf salad, and a famous green jello salad (yes, I am Mormon!!). Tomorrow we have stuffing, two hams and two turkeys to prepare. AND, everything was from scatch. Yes, I am proud of that, too! I felt really good today, but it is starting to take its toll as it is 11 pm. The side effect of the Zofran is headache and I have had one all day but I am not sure if it is the lack of sleep due to really bad heartburn last night or if it was actually a side effect. We'll see if this is a regular occurrence. I hope not.

So, tomorrow I will be enjoying food once again...I will be with family...I will be happy. I love it! So, yes, it is a Happy Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Family, friends, a new baby, a good job for Troy, a good school for Daeson and Tevan, and a home to live within. I am Thankful for so many things...mostly because I feel good right now...but I truly am thankful for all of my blessings. Happy Thanksgiving!

Friendly arrivals

Today my mom and dad came. They brought Happy Meals, smiles and lots of hugs. In the first two hours that my mom was here, she cleaned the kids' room, the toy room, went to the grocery store, cleaned the LR and vacuumed everything. And dusted. Tonight for dinner we had steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, corn, grapes and salad. What a great meal thanks mom and Troy! It tasted really good (or the mashed potatoes and gravy mixed with corn anyway, that is all that I could handle). Mom has done five or so batches of laundry and Mount Washmore is fading. What a blessing. And tonight when I was throwing up, she rubbed my back! No one touches me usually when I puke...it was nice to know that I have some support while at my weakest point.

We are celebrating Thanksgiving on Saturday. Tonight I got a prescription for Zofran. I hope this ends up in a happy mixture. I only got two to see if they even work. I have heard great things about it and they finally came out with a generic that is affordable. I am hoping that it works.

Not sooo fast!

So, I got a little excited with the last post. Sunday night I threw up...a lot. Monday I spent the whole day on the couch, and today? Well, I missed primary pres mtg (they didn't call because they figured I was throwing up) and I missed parent teacher conf. I had to hang-up mid sentence while talking to my mom so that I could throw up. I must be doing this a lot because Tevan now acts out like he is throwing up. Sunday we went to GG Blues to get Daeson. Right before we left, I threw up. When we arrived, Tevan started freaking out about the smell...it went like this: "The smell, Mommy! I gonna throw up! It stinks mom, yucky smells! I gonna throw up!" He proceeded to the bathroom and acted like he was indeed throwing up. She was cooking garlic bread and I didn't even get sick from the smell! Then last night he declared he could not sleep in his bed, he is sick and has to sleep on the couch. ( I have been on the couch for a very long while!!!) He is just so funny!!! Both boys are very sympathetic when I am throwing up. I did have to explain to Daeson that he cannot play 20 questions while I am in the bathroom...when I hold up a finger, please wait until I can answer before asking me anything else! And, if I can hang up on my own mother while throwing up, please do not think that I won't hang up on you! Today I have spent the entire day on the couch. I did make breakfast for Troy when he came home at 10:30. But,unfortunately, that is the last thing I have done. In the last three days,I did manage to read the Rick Riordan book, "The Last Hero". Fantastic read if you are wondering! I read all the Percy Jackson books and this is just as good. It even ties in to the Percy books. Very easy and very fun!

The other thing I did today was switch Doctors. I don't generally bad mouth doctors, given my dad's profession, however, a certain Dr. Leavitt's office was a bit savvy if you ask me! The nurses were always cold...like they hated being there. The last visit I went to the office billing guy pulled me into the office to make payment arrangements. I was then handed a paper that I had to sign saying that I would pay every office visit the amount of $700 or right around there. I didn't know what to do, so I had Troy call to speak to him. Troy simply asked if we could reduce the payment to $350 so that it didn't put us in a crunch every month. He said, "Well if you had a $700 plumber's bill, you would pay him." He missed the point. We were not trying to refuse to pay, just make it so that we can afford it! Then he got after us about insurance. I have insurance, but in Idaho, it is crappy self-employed insurance and our deductible is $7500. That is ridiculous but I cannot do anything about it! And I pay a chunk of change for that!!!! Anyway, he then told Troy that if we cannot pay them (finally agreeing to $400), they would sue us. What jerks! They do not know me, they do no tknow that I have NEVER been late on a payment!!! They had no right to threaten me with sueing me...the baby has not even been born yet!!!!!! I am only 10 weeks and they pull this kind of crap! Then, when I called the office to tell them I needed my records transferred and to cancel my apt, she hung up! I wash my hands of them!!! Plus, the new doctor is $600 cheaper...eat that! So, I did do one more good thing today, I saved my family $600 with two phone calls!

Daeson's teacherloves him...he is a great student and she had nothing but good to say about him! Troy was very excited and happy to report that. He get a little rambunctious at times, but what 5 year old boy doesn't. There are 3 small baby letters he cannot recognize, but we will fix that!!! Troy asked if he could start reading and she was excited that we wanted him to this early. I had no idea what they were learning, I am such an outstanding parent these days, but I was thrilled to know that he is doing and learning so much! Great job, Daeson! I sure love you!

On the mend

I am not sure if the last two days are , "here, feel better so it can get worse" days or if I am starting to feel human again. The song from Beauty and the Beast keeps popping in to my mind, "We'll Be Human Again" (from the revised DVD). I have not thrown up...I have wanted to but managed to keep it all down. Today my Grandma and Grandpa visited with what Troy declared "the best chicken and noodle soup he has ever eaten", Jell-o, oranges, rolls and cinnamon rolls. It tasted so great and Tevan even ate it! Daeson is at Grandpa and Grandma Blue's (Troy's parents), they picked him up last night so he did not get to see G&G. They were sad, but I am sure he is having a fabulous time. My mom and dad are coming this week and we are so excited. This will be a good visit, and if I am not feeling better, she will stay!!!! for two weeks. Do I see vegetables in my children's futures??? I am grateful that she is able to come stay, it will be so wonderful to spend time with her and the boys are ecstatic. We definitely don't see them as much as we want to.

Because I knew my Grandparents were coming, I was able to muster through cleaning two bathrooms, loading the dishwasher, washing the dishes that would not fit, and cleaning the LR. I was just wiping down counters as they pulled in. I gagged the entire time, willing myself to keep it under control, and I did it. I made myself, for the first time in weeks, clean thoroughly. Troy was quite impressed when he got home from work tonight. I still have unwashed laundry and the sheets all need changed, but we are afloat. Atleast someone can walk into my home and I am not embarrassed from the disaster.

So, lets hope that this is coming to an end. Tuesday I am 11 weeks and I will be so glad when the first trimester is done. I have a fat little belly, but I am weight down, so I am sure it is all baby!!! LOL! :) So, until next time...

Tears

A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law's sister-in-law and brother had twin boys three months early. One, Dex, did not make it and many tears have fallen in their behalf. The other boy, sweet Crew, is a super cute baby and has come so far! Today I read a precious blog posted by Megan. It made me stop to think about life and how precious it is. As I sit and blog about how miserable I am, I know there are several out there who would give anything to be in my shoes right now. This humbles me. I forget that I am lucky to be carrying a child. I forget that I am lucky to be able to increase my family by one more member. My selfishness has consumed me and I feel so sad about that. I am sorry for making anyone feel sad or lonely. I think I have just felt so sorry for myself that I have not stopped to think of anyone else. I hope things start looking better!!! And, Megan, you are brave and courageous. You are an inspiration to all of us!